Missing another person…. Some of us are happy they finally are done with another person they did not bond with at all. The person is missed, dot. Period. Done with. Exit. No more.
For all of the other people who know what it means to really MISS the person you feel a connection with, I have been writing this blog.
To Miss…
a simple verb with an intense load of all kind of emotions, thoughts and how to cope with situations of missing another person. Most of us who miss another person in this way, feel a Love connection with that person. The Missing has many faces…
How about missing your father, even when he is still alive? How about missing your husband, like I do now…How about missing your Lover who is an illegal and will be deported back to his “own” country? How about missing your child, born too early? How about missing your dog who meant everything to you? How about missing your husband who dies before you? Or your wife, who passed away before you? How do you handle it? What can you do? What is your respond?
Missing is one of the deepest emotions we can experience. But it is always connected as an invincible string to Love. Love is the most empowered emotion in a positive way. Hate is the other most empowered emotion, but in the negative way. So what do we make 0f the Missing….?
Missing means you experience a sense of deportation within your soul. Cut off and difficult to connect again. Missing brings up intense pain, grief, sadness, can even lead to depression and despair. But when you understand you do have a CHOICE how to connect yourself to the Missing, you can gain an immense strength, and empower yourself above any imagination. Persons who first felt powerless, stand up and feel an immense force within their soul. They feel guided, taken care off and an intense feeling of inner peace and strength can be felt in their soul.
They do whatever is possible to improve the situation of the person they miss AND the situation of themselves. How? By taking action, by creating new opportunities, possibilities, by connecting themselves to the Universe/ the Light. By asking for guidance, by praying, opening up for everything that might help.
No matter what religion you have, every person can ask for guidance, help, and open themselves up to what they feel is right to do. What empowers you?
I will take this question in myself and answer it here.
What empowers me?
I miss Brian so incredibly, I cannot even describe it. But this Missing has taught me something else too, several things actually. First is that I Appreciate Brian even more for the wonderful and most Loving man he is than I already did. And it wipes away my small irritations which have nothing to do with Brian but all with me. It is all the way how I choose to hold on to My beliefs. Brian is still Brian and has not changed. Holland has a depressing influence on me. The moment the plane touched the ground again, I felt the different energy. People are unsatisfied for the most here. They even look sour. Too much people on a too small piece of land called Holland. I get frustrated and irritated quickly here, totally different than when I am in America.
And strangely or understandably enough, the Missing of my beloved Brian takes out an entire string of old “Missings…” from my soul archive…
Like the Missing of the father for my children during their childhood. It brings up the old pain again, or the Missing of my husband when it was clear it did not work and we decided to have a divorce after ten difficult years. The Missing of my Love Paul, and his children Diederik, Casimir, Joachim and Chiara, which has had an immense influence on all of our lives. The Missing of my beloved Frits, who was not able to lower his walls of defense against Love. And my Love Wim, who has meant so much to me. I keep them safe and alive in a different Loving way and they will always have that place in my soul. They still are a part of me. I will carry them with me in this Life and even after this life in my soul energy. Why? Because the Missing has another side. The side of Loving memory and the strong connection and knowing that real Love will never end. Life will never end. Because it is a Choice. MY choice.
I am in contact with them still, all those wonderful persons I Miss…we still Love each other and feel grateful for this Love.
The Missing of my intensely beloved father, I still feel you next to me…The Missing of Tosca, my dear and deeply connected friend who I Love and felt connected with through another past life, still think of her and feel her. 
The Missing of my dearest friend Erik, who I have Loved and continue Loving so deeply and whose Love I can still feel like a warm coat around us, never gone, not for a single second…
The Missing of Tim, 
my daughter’s boyfriend, he is always with me, with us…Everything is possible when you open yourself up to that miracle called Love…Love has many ways to reach out for you…
When you believe you can still be connected, you will find that there is another level on which you can sense, feel, and even communicate with the ones you Miss…There is so much Love and Strength and creative endless Energy. It does not stop with the Missing…
The Missing can also empower you, like it empowers me after feeling in shock, feeling depressed, crying and detesting the situation of being apart again from my husband Brian…But see what happens? After the tears and the shock, there is something happening! I feel I still am Connected to my dude, I still Feel him! We contact each other each day and count the days till we are together again. Feeling Grateful, because we WILL be together, feeling empowered because WE CHOOSE how we feel and go through this period. I have dried my tears and I want to use my time here to do what I never have done for the last 20 years….relax and feel my own energy again without poring it into another person.
I have done this for so many years and with all of the Love I could possibly feel. Now it’s time to read a book, to be at ease, to know what I like to relax again, to feel my incredibly tiredness and to do something about that. Physically and emotionally exhausted after so many years of struggling and being in the “survival mode” I focus myself on me now…without any feeling of guilt. I have always been running my legs out of my body for every one. (Dutch expression 
) Now it’s Mary time. Time to feel what I have been Missing….to be Mary and not only the therapist or the writer.
Now I feel more empowered and feel I can write again….A couple of blogs during the last days…starting to write on my books again. Getting to my own soul energy and my own destination without giving it all away. And gaining a strength out of the Missing…No job now…no income…but balanced…
To me the Missing has a function, because I MAKE it that way. How do you respond to the Missing in your life?
