Many of the themes and tools that Mary and I talk about and demonstrate come from the framework of the teachings of The Option Institute. It’s an amazing place and teaches what I believe to be the MOST EMPOWERED philosophy I’ve ever come across. The link to its website is on the front page of this blog, along with that of the Autism Treatment Center of America, where a set of tools and techniques built from The Option Process are being used to recover children from autism–and YES, it does work!
The main concept that makes this philosophy so powerful is that of STIMULUS – BELIEF – RESPONSE. This page http://www.option.org/the-option-institute/what-we-teach/37 gives a beautifully crafted, 5-minute explaination of why the key piece, your BELIEFS, are so powerful to your life experience–and BELIEFS are changable! By you! (Plus I love the fancy graphics and photos–too cool!)
In specific regards to relationships and dating, what this means is that you OWN your experience in a relationship! Everything that you think, feel, and do! The beliefs you create can make it so that being rejected can actually be easy and comfortable! (SUPPORTING BELIEF: I’m one person closer to my perfect partner!) Beliefs can make it so getting broken up with might even be exciting! (SUPPORTING BELIEF: No matter how great he/she is, the one I’m looking for has to be even better! )
The other part that has been so useful for me is taking an action which is actually the EXACT OPPOSITE of what most dating sites and writers will tell you: show and tell everything about you right away–including the things someone might think of as a deal-breaker! DON’T show only your “good stuff” to make a great first impression–show who you really are! Think of it this way: if your dating partner is eventually going to find out something about you that’s a deal breaker–MUCH BETTER to know that now and not waste anymore time on that person. It saves you both time and energy and you can each get on with your search!
More specifics to come on this–you’ll see a lot of this in how Mary and I have unfolded our relationship, but I wanted you to know the basics of our approach so that when we do this or that within the blog, you’ll know where that’s coming from. For those who want more information, I HIGHLY encourage you to investigate The Option Institute website! There are many great, free resources there, and, although the Never Settle Singles program is not currently being given there, there IS a great CD available and any of the programs there are not only VERY useful, but a lot of FUN as well! In support of the things on this particular blog, I would recommend Optimal Self-Trust, Radical Authenticity, or my personal favorite: Empower Yourself!
For tomorrow: the all-important “WANTS LIST”: how to do one and why it’s important!