How Time and Authenticity can be a friend
As I met Brian for the first time, I knew that this was not true. We have lived with each other before as I told you earlier in this blog. First in Italy as my son, who died on me having the plague. The second life I remember was in Tuscany, we were very happily married for many years.
Now, the normal way of thinking is that we first NEED to date each other, then decide what we WANT and then make a DECISION how to do that. Getting married or not, who moves in with who, etc.
The NORMAL accepted way is to get to know each other well. We did NONE of these things. First I recognized Brian. Then we started to mail, then we started to Skype (chatting) and FINALLY, I met HIM at the Bradley international airport in Hartford, America on the 20th of August this year.
Was time my companion here? YES and NO…………..
Time is an abstract fact. That seems to be in opposite of each other. Or it is a fact, or it is abstract. But time is something we live by, because it makes life easier. We know when we will meet with a person, when the meeting starts at work, when it’s time to get to work etc. But time does not exist at all. It is a clockwise program, invented to structure and fix up our lives. When we would NOT do time, we would feel whenever we would like to sleep, work, eat etc. But we would NOT be able to be in time ANYWHERE. So, time is a schedule that makes things structured and organizes it into the way most of us like it. But does time OWN us?
Coming back to the situation of Brian and I, time would be hard on us, according the beliefa of OTHERS to this. THEY think we SHOULD date for at least a year before making decisions about marriage. We don’t. Why? Because from the moment Brian and I looked in each others’ eyes, we KNEW that we were together for a lifetime. The difference in this is the next:
1- We don’t wear masks, what you see is what you get.
2- We do NOT project our wants on each other; we KNOW the other one IS our wants…
3- We DO speak out everything in the NOW, with trust, with confidence.
4- We both see life as a GREAT ADVENTURE…
5- We are free of judgments, or try to be free of that.
6- We truly BELIEVE that we OWN only our OWN thoughts, not the thoughts of the other/ others.
7- We see problems as possibilities/ opportunities, there to teach us an insight.
8- We give ourselves EXACTLY the way we are, there is no difference when Brian is with me or I am alone, it’s still the same me. Being me….
9- We both only say what we REALLY MEAN.
10-We respect and accept each other EXACTLY the way we are!
Now I get comments of friends who are truly concerned. I have had other experiences with love and believe me, those were not the happiest times of my life. Still, looking back, I can say I love almost every man I used to date. Because of who they are, being the person they are.
The people that want to protect me from having another disappointment, project former experiences of both me and themselves on the relationship I have with Brian. Understandable, I appreciate their being concerned about me, but there is a HUGE difference.
Brian and I are both very AUTHENTIC!…………..And because of that we SEE each other as we ARE!
EVERYTHING that happened to me in my past, said something about the OTHER person, more than it did about me in this way. I do not wear masks, ever. I am always me, everywhere.
Since neither Brian nor I project our wants on each other, we SEE each other EXACTLY the way we truly ARE. And that makes a WORLD of difference in love relationships, other relationships, even in working relations. When you are TRULY YOU, you don’t need to hide behind a mask. You don’t need to be a person you are not. You will not become the person others expect you to become. And you will keep lots of good energy to yourself.
Yes, but what about my friend/ partner? They believe this is me!
Well, then I have a surprise for you…. STOP BEING THE OTHER YOU!
Does this make you happy? Gives this energy to you? Does this look like the real you?
Ask yourself these questions, even when you come up with new ones, such as:
But I cannot be the same at work as I am at home!……….WHY NOT???
I always am the same at home as I am on my work. I CHOOSE to be me. Always, at any time, everywhere. And it serves me well. I do not have to lie about things. I do not get a headache because I have to remember stuff I made up. It is so good to be just me………………..
Back to time! May be it IS time for you now, to check on yourself. To be totally honest to YOU. To see how you CHOOSE to live and if it makes you HAPPY and GIVES you ENERGY……..Leaving you with only ONE question:
WHO ARE YOU?……………..
Also: I never read Brian’s postings till they are on the blog. He only reads mine to post them on the blog. It’s such a joy, each time, to see how much we “level”with each other! Even without talking about it before, we most of the time write about similair subjects. Amazing, surprising and such a comfort to be in a relationship with Brian this way. You can have the relationship YOU WANT too. Make your own WANTSLIST and check that list each time you meet a guy….wanna bet you get involved in JUST the relationship you REALLY want?