What is in a spoken word, when you do not believe it yourself?
Many people will tell you lies. Some bigger, some smaller, but definitely lies.
Whatever the reasons for that may be, the outcome remains the same: it has NOTHING to do with being authentic…
It begins when we are young.
‘Don’t you tell grandma that she is fat!’
‘Don’t you dare to laugh about the big nose of Uncle Peter again!’ etc. etc.
So when grandma is visiting you want to apologize for being so rude last time and you make up a compliment like:
Hi Gran! You look so good in that dress!’ while thinking oh my GOD! How AWFUL she looks in that, it makes her look even fatter!
And when uncle Peter comes in, you try do say something nice and tell him how handsome he looks and that his smile is such a nice one, even when you HATE that ironic smile and your first thought was, oh my GOD! It’s Uncle Peter!!!!! Yak!!!!
So, why do we do that? Why do we tell lies and try to feel better afterwards?
It’s all about beliefs. Our belief is that when we are authentic we all of a sudden can THINK for the other person and we are trying to be NICE and FRIENDLY to them by telling them lies.
What would be a great thing to do with this?
Think about looking at them as a WHOLE person instead of judging them for something which is a small piece of them.
Grandma has a personality that can be warm and very loving, very caring. But when we focus on her being fat, we do not see that whole picture, we start to focus on what we believe is bad or ugly etc. And judge grandma…
In the second example, we see that Uncle Peter is having a HUGE nose. So?
Why focus on his nose, while there is a WHOLE person underneath that nose?
Do we CHOOSE to see a person and decide to ACCEPT him or her exactly the way they are? Or do they FIRST have to match with OUR beliefs about, good, bad or ugly?
Being authentic means that you always stay loyal to what you really feel. It can be that you CHOOSE to treat grandma and Uncle Peter in this way of being judgmental. Does it bring you happiness? Joy? Can you look them in the eye in an open and accepting way? Or should they not be there because you refuse to open yourself to them?
One of the most important things in life, in my perception, is not to judge. Neither judge yourself or another person. It is important to accept that other persons are totally their own owners of their own mind, thoughts, actions and bodies.
Who are we to judge?
Does it make us feel better about ourselves when we laugh about others? Is that a real reality or just something we make up to create the illusion that we are better?
How about you? How many times in one day do You judge? Yourself or another?
Try to take notice of that and figure out if that makes you more happy…..