Just thought I would have some fun and post, for easy access, some of my favorite (or most useful) posts from the first year of our blog. “Tried” to narrow it down to the top 5, but ended up with 6 when Mary said “HELL NO, you can’t take out the “Want’s List” post, it’s the most important one!!!” Okay! So now there are 6! Counting from lowest to highest of my choices, they are:
6. Brian’s “Wants List”, October 7, 2009 – https://findreallove.wordpress.com/2009/10/07/brians-wants-list/
For those who haven’t read it yet (or Mary’s), this example “Wants List” really is, like Mary said, HUGELY important to your process in finding a GREAT love relationship. To do one for yourself, remember the following steps: 1) be alone and put yourself in a comfortable state of love and gratitude, then 2) put down anything that you would want in the PERFECT partner–don’t censor yourself at all, don’t worry about believing you can get these things or not, leave that for later. This is just an exercise to get a clear picture of what you want in a partner, if you were allowed to choose the perfect person for YOU.
5. A day of death and sadness, joy and celebration, November 2, 2009 – https://findreallove.wordpress.com/2009/11/02/a-day-of-death-and-sadness-joy-and-celebration/
A reminder of how death fits into life, and how our view of loss affects the way we interact with the living. Death need not be about sadness, and, in fact, the more we learn to let go of fear of it and let go of sadness (or anger, as I found out) in its aftermath, the more we can be present and loving to those who are with us now.
4. Blaming others for YOUR discomfort (and how to stop!), October 29, 2009 – https://findreallove.wordpress.com/2009/10/29/blaming-others-for-your-discomfort-and-how-to-stop/
This is a really neat glimpse into an actual “Brialogue” that I did with my mom that provides insight into how the process works to identify beliefs that underlie uncomfortable feelings like frustration and confusion so that they can be changed whenever desired. This specific instance is a loose version of the Option Process Dialogue (more information on the REAL process here: http://www.option.org/the-option-institute/what-we-teach/37 ). It also shows how really accepting others exactly the way they are helps both your comfort and theirs.
3. You don’t need common interests!!!, October 31, 2009 – https://findreallove.wordpress.com/2009/10/31/you-dont-need-common-interests/
This is actually the most viewed post from our blog, with almost twice as many visits as the next highest. I like it because it really talks about why the #1 thing that singles/dating blogs tell you is important to relationships really isn’t. And then what I CLEARLY believe is the #1 thing that leads to GREAT relationships: that you share the same view/philosophy of how the world works and how the two of you respond to it. It has nice, clear explainations why.
2. “The leeeeeaving is the hardest part”, October 28, 2009 – https://findreallove.wordpress.com/2009/10/28/the-leeeeeaving-is-the-hardest-part/
What I like so much about this post, also one of the most viewed of our blog so far, is that it deals with what I still believe is one of the, if not THE, biggest obstacle to not settling in your search for a GREAT love: breaking up with someone when you come to believe they’re not a match for you. And this becomes more and more “difficult” the longer you have been together. But in this blog I identify WHY this is so hard and, more importantly, why to DO IT ANYWAY, if it’s what you believe is best for you.
And, drum roll please!…………………………………………..
1. “There is no fate but what we make…”, November 28, 2009 – https://findreallove.wordpress.com/2009/11/28/there-is-no-fate-but-what-we-make/
This is my favorite post so far, but apparently hasn’t been much of a draw to readers, as it’s nowhere near the top in views! Or maybe that’s just because it was around the holiday, who knows. But I invite you to read it now if you haven’t. It’s my favorite writing; clear, to the point, lots of humor! Our life is up to us to create it–I truly believe that, so live it with outrageous passion and faith!
Just a few thoughts about upcoming blogs. One of my great friends, Jane, said “hey, what’s up with all these instructional posts–what’s going on with you and Mary???” So I’ll post the latest on how our life is going together. A little foreshadowing: it doesn’t suck!!! As I mentioned earlier, I’m also going to post on a long-term study done on the topic of what make us happy, and I will dissect how jaded, taught beliefs cloud the ability of the author to glean information that seems obvious to me in terms of how we own our own feelings. And I will put out another invite for questions and comments. If your relationship (or singlehood) isn’t perfect, feel free to ask REAL questions about things that get in the way of that. We’ll keep you anonymous if you like! Lastly, I wanted to let you know that we will SOON be starting an online dating site specifically for people who live towards The Option Process or who want to live–and LOVE–in an empowered, joyful, comfortable way, like Mary and I do, and as we teach here in our blog. Stay posted for further details, but this will become a reality in the very near future!!!