The last two nights I could not sleep at all. Now, since I am in the meno-pause, I have these very nice hot flushes, nightly sweatings and itchy sensations over my entire body. It’s like there are a million ants marching from my head till my toes, not knowing in which direction their captain is leading them….Ha, ha, ha! After seeing the clock each 5 minutes, I started to take off the comforter (strange name for a devastatingly, way too hot top on me) and was thinking things over.
or women’s beliefs?
Now here’s some advice to give to you; NEVER, EVER make night decisions. First of all you are tired, therefore you can’t think the way you would do the way you are used to do at day time. Second of all, you always look more at the dark side of things instead of the bright side. Of course it is dark, but the main issue here is that at night everything seems to be more problematic than during the day!
So, there I was, a victimizing fifty aged gal, turning over and over in her bed, next to my love Brian who slept like a snoring baby…..so cute! I really tried to comfy myself. Thought of how lucky I was to be lying in my bed with the love of my life. How happy I was with my children, my dog, my friends and with writing my books. It didn’t help for one bit….there they were, the darkening shadows of life, taking over my normal way of thinking and creating an island of fearful scenario’s…How to do this and how to fix that, and SHIT! I forgot to phone the “dogdoc” for Dozer’s (my dog) yearly injection. And how about that lady who’s call I wanted to respond to? Totally forgotten! Ah! Now, normally I advice people to write things down that keep them out of their sleep. But I felt too tired to get out of the bed, turned over again and couldn’t stop my tumbling thoughts….And there was this huge column of ant soldiers, stamping their way over my back, arms and down again. Gee! I got irritated. So I got up and decided to make something to drink. A huge diet coke would serve me well, I thought. It was absolutely delicious, but unfortunately, after finally falling asleep, I woke up because I had to pee…… I will not tell you how the rest of the night went, but believe me. At the time I really fell asleep, daylight was already peeking through the curtains, into my bedroom.
What to learn from this all?
First I decided to put another, not as warm comforter on the bed. Second, I decided to write down everything that bothered me. And third of all I decide to DO something with it. I talked it over with Brian and we went to visit Lars and Femke, two very close friends of mine. As we were talking, the conversation all of a sudden was about the issues I was dealing with. This was not something I deliberately did, but it was a new and refreshing look over it by talking with my friends. They told me the same Brian already did before and I decided to deal with these issues and end my nightly turns with that. Once we came home, I talked about the things I decided, with my children and was very surprised that they came up with even better solutions! So, here’s the thing: Whenever you feel bothered, ask yourself WHY. Whenever you cannot sleep, ask yourself WHY. And whenever you feel irritated, ask yourself the same question…
Be honest, be authentic with yourself! And write it down, look at it and then talk it over with a person that really understands you. Make a decision that will release you from all the: “what if this will happen; what f that will happen” horror scenario’s. And look at it again. Before you know it, you will feel totally comfortable with the whole kit’ n caboodle! I will let you know how I slept!
But my belief is that I will sleep like a baby….And as the human mind responds to the beliefs you hold, my night will be more than good.