The direct inner knowing that Brian was the man I was related to before was undoubtably present. The rest is history….for those who want to read about how our story went, I saw Brian two times in a dream at the age of 9 and at the age of 46, please read our blog from the beginning. It is a breathtaking story.
From the moment we physically met on the 20th of August 2009 at Bradley international airport in Hartford, we are together. Brian proposed to me on the 13th of September at The Option Institute (www.option.org ) in New England, Massachusettes. We have nothing but each other. Brian will try to find a job in America and I will go to see him again in April or May. To be without each other is terrible, aweful and hard. I have had a tough life, have been through a lot in my life. Really a lot. Still I always kept my belief in the romance of my life, in the man I knew was out there, somewhere. The prince on the white horse? No. I do not see him as that at all. Brian is my soulmate through ages. I promised him as he died on me in Tuscany Italy, that whenever he would not be able to find me, I would find him. And I did. It took me 51 years, but I did find him. The way Brian and I are connected is so deep and so intense, that it’s hard to explain to The Others. My mum does not aprove my relationship with Brian. She lost belief in the possibillity that there are good men who will love me in a honest way. My mum does not want to open herself up to the possibillity that I can find a partner that can be truly loving me. Because of the bad experiences that I have had. I see the past and the relationships I have had as a learning process, that have led me to the moment to find Brian in my life. Our love is one that is one of a lifetime, maybe even one of ages. It took me a while before I found him back. For all of our readers who are not aware of the existence of former or past lifes, don’t bother about it. I just want to share what we experience. Everybody is totally free in believing in whatever he or she wants. No judgments there, ever.
Now we are starting all over again, Brian and I were talking about the totally new start we are creating. I have my work in Holland, I have my own office here, have built up my profession. I am a registered psychological therapist with all my diplomas which are needed to practice here, the health insurance is paying partly or totally for my consults. I am a known writer here, with a lot of fans of the dolphin books I write. My children live here, my mother and brothers, my friends….Still I am going to America, to start a life with my beloved Brian. The man who had a drinking problem in our life in Tuscany, who even died of that, sitting at the porch swing of our beautiful house. The man who even has had a drinking problem in this life. Which Brian himself by the way, sees as THE gift of his life, because the drinking has led him to The Option Institute where his life changed and he got rid of the panic attacks he has had for more than 19 years. The gift of drinking, I can see some readers shaking heads here… Still I believe that it WAS a gift. Brian has been working out the drinking problem in this life. The forbidden cookie has lost it’s attraction, Brian is totally capable to have a few drinks now and then stop. Nobody to be thankful for except Brian. He did this himself. Does this mean that he will never have more than 4 glasses of wine? No. It does mean that Brian can decide for himself what HE wants to choose from now on. Whenever Brian is with me, he does not feel like wanting to drink alone, in a corner or feeling the need to drive somewhere to get a drink, a bottle or more. I bought him 4 bottles of Chardonnay. I told him that whenever he felt like drinking, to grab a bottle and do it. That whenever he wanted to have more bottles, I would BUY them for him. No forbidden cookies here…and the most extraordinary happened. Brian got sick by the idea of 30 bottles, as I suggested….And he is a very mild drinker, I do NOT judge him and maybe that’s the key in this. I opened the box of bottles and let the ghost of the forbidden cookie go….He immediately felt the truth in it.
Step two is taking a plane without drinking anything. Brian feels he has a physical reaction to deep bumps in the air. As soon as the airplane starts to loose hight in an extreme way, his body takes over…I will help him with this in my practice and will keep all of our readers informed. Life is a challenge and the actions we are aware and unaware of, are the hidden helpers to solve the situations that bother us.
To all of our readers I would like to say, I am not a fool to start a life with Brian. I am the most happy girl you can ever imagine, it’s true, we do not own ANYTHING…but EACH OTHER…Which is the greatest gift there is…
We don’t have ANY money, no house, no furniture, no washing machine, no dryer, no stove, not even a chair to sit on. But we have faith…We believe that there is a benevolent universe. We believe in the right persons on the right time on our life path. We believe in an open heart, in pureness and in trust. We believe that we both are helpers to The Others, whenever we meet…We have been helpers to others our entire life, without asking anything for ourselves. Life is an adventure, we are looking forward with so much gratitude, we feel truly blessed. Even by all the so called negative experiences we have had. Because this all led to this point.
We are open to all kind of suggestions, thoughts, remarks etc. Whenever there are readers who want to guide us in finding a job, a home, furniture etc., we are open to it all. This is the difference, where we used to only give, we now have learned to accept that there are more givers. Like us. In accepting lies a whole new world of gratitude and love. Gratitude of being alive, gratitude of being able to make a difference…