There is no sun without shadow. There is no day without a night. There is no winning without losing.
Every single aspect of live contains the opposite. Like life and death, like winning and losing, like success and failure….We are taught that life is hard. that we NEED to know things; beliefs. We grow up with the belief that we NEED to WORK hard to get what we want. That life can be hard and we do not get things for free. We are taught to win,to succeed in life. Most of us are taught to behave good, to get a good job, a good partner and at least one house and two cars. Meaning that lots of people are afraid to fail, still I always wondered why. After so many years of working in my practice, I know the answer ( to me). It all depends on how you see the world. Whenever you experience failure, you can look at is as a complete disaster or decide it is the best gift you could get.
‘Oh my God! I NEVER want to do that EVER again! I feel so hurt; I feel so bad; I feel so sad; I feel so powerless….How could I do this? How could I be so stupid? How could I let this happen?’ etc.
I would like to turn this all around.
‘Oh my God! I understand what this means! I feel so grateful! I feel so blessed! I feel so good! I feel so powerful!…..How is it possible that I can see this? What a lucky person I am! I feel so happy with this! I feel so empowered!
‘But that is easy talking, how about doing that?’
Well, how about doing that? Ask yourself this question, be honest to yourself! What is keeping you from that? Beliefs? Your beliefs? (a very nice question by the way, since many of our beliefs are taught by The Others and taken for true without hardly ever thinking about it because we believe they are our own beliefs…) Or did you simply never think about this any deeper? Why do we believe that failure is a negative experience? Why do we hold on to a belief/ beliefs that only create a negative emotion? Why don’t we see that there is no failure at all? “Failure” is positive! It is the total opposite from everything we were taught! To fail is to learning how to SEE! How can that ever be negative?
The learning from failure is huge. I do not want to use the word failure in my life. I don’t believe in a negative approach in this. I never fail! I only win! By learning not to JUDGE myself….whatever I do, it is always done with the best interest, the best intention. Whatever the outcome of my action will be, it was done with a pure heart, a pure soul. So how can something pure be bad? Bad is a judgment!
‘But I really did this wrong! I really did something really bad! I really made a huge mistake!’
Let me be very clear now, there are no mistakes.
A mis- take is something you did on that moment because you decided to do that. It tells you there is another way! Afterwards you discover that you learned from your experience. There is no bad or wrong in this at all! There is something that was given to you by doing it this way! Maybe you feel something like sorrow because you already KNEW it would go the way it went, well, by then you know that this little voice within you was right and that it could be wise to listen to it more often! That is a gift too! I still can feel surprised when I notice that people judge themselves so severe. Like when people tell me they think of themselves as stupid! Why on earth would you stigmatize yourself as stupid? What do you win by that?
We are able to judge ourselves first and then decide to hold on to that belief. Well, when we are so good with programming ourselves in a negative way, why not do the opposite and CHOOSE to DECIDE to look at what we do in a positive way? It’s life CHANGING! It will create a life without any stress! When you START to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts, you will learn much quicker! Remember, there is NOTHING like FAILURE! Failure is just a word we created, so let’s create another one that is far more giving to you! How about SUCCES! You can choose to succeedNOT to JUDGE yourself, you succeed by CHOOSING to DECIDE to feel happy! No matter what!
‘Even when something “bad” happens?’
There is not a thing called “bad”…..Bad is just a word we CREATED…..
When we WANT to see the lessons/ insights in what we experience, life will get easier to us. Whenever you feel you are walking a path of life that is not truly yours, you will feel unhappy or restless. GREAT! CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU WIN!!!!
This means that you can make a CHANGE!
‘But it is a blind alley!’
That is SUPER! Now you know that you can make this into a profit by taking another road that will bring you where you want to be!
‘But I haven’t got a clue where to walk next!’
Then leave the blind alley and start looking for what YOUR wants are and write these down. Live by it, ask for it, be on it….
‘But it cannot be that simple!’
Moses could split the red sea, my belief is that every single soul can be its own Moses…I wish you all a wishful, creative path with all the tools and skills that will give you the insights you need. To live the life you REALLY want. To decide to be the person you REALLY are…