I read the blog Brian wrote and I agree with that mostly. There are tons of people who put their interest, their Love and their energy in The Others to be able to get something back. That could be because of the Love they want to receive, it could be a kind of confirmation of who they are. It also could be that this happens from a lack of self esteem.
But there is another group of people who give, just to give.
Who see it as their destination in life to BE there for The Others….
Who don’t care about getting something back, being liked or being confirmed. That second group of people are the ones who go on and on, who push themselves over the edge in order to GIVE… As Tosca and I did…
I have always known and seen that both Tosca and I went from group 1 to group 2. We started with a lack of self esteem, wanted to be loved and to be liked. We thought this was normal, since when we were in the Light/ the Universe, we always felt that. How different life taught us here!
During our lives here, we learned that by listening to our inner voice, we could reach out for our destination. We wanted to overcome the things in ourselves which formed obstacles, we talked about it and we learned from that.
As a child I simply knew what my destination was, I loved everybody and it was a shock to me that there were people who disliked me. (I am one of these HSP who remember the way it was in the Light/ the Universe)What did I do to The Others that they disliked me, I asked my parents.
They told me that the world we lived in was a rude world with impolite people, who were selfish and always wanted things from you. My parents told me that you could never trust another person in this world.
I did not believe that. I didn’t want to live out of fear!
Especially my mother lives by fear in her life. A fear I do not want to choose never wanted to share and never decided to copy. So I was the different girl, the strange duck in the family. I became stronger because of that, because I always followed my inner voice. Even when my parents told me not to trust on that.
Nowadays I do not feel that I NEED any persons confirmation, I don’t care when people do not understand me. Because 1)it is not possible and 2)because it is not important anymore.
The reason why I write the next things down is because of my experience that many of The Others feel this the same or will recognize it.
I am on the path of my destination, I am a giver. Not to receive, just to GIVE…
The reason why I felt I did not have a choice in this for what’s about my working in the practice was that I am the only person who earned the money in my family. The pressure was high, I wanted to pay the bills and I wanted to help The Others. The death of Tosca has showed me that I DO have a choice in this. I worked too hard, have had a lot to experience and learn from on my path of life; have always been happy to help. Still I forgot one important thing in this:….ME!……Now my body starts to collapse. It gave me signals for the last years, which I ignored. I HAD to make enough money to be able to pay for my rented house and drive my 13 year old car. (Why? I can bike just as easy and I love that too!)To take care of everything. Which brought me OFF my path of destination…
Now I have decided to only work for 3 days in a week, so I can write and do some errands in the house, maybe even read a book! Brian taught me how to relax again…..I know I can give within my own self chosen limits. I know that the benevolent Universe will take care of me, will provide me and you with EVERYTHING we ask for.
When I return on the true path of my destination I feel a deep happiness, meaning that I hear my inner voice again. Loud and clear! I remember and tell myself I DO have a choice, I remember and know I have a choice, always….
And I DECIDE to take better care of ME from now on. I decided to inform about how to do that so I am working on it to create more options and take better care of ME. The most important aspect of a GIVER is TAKING CARE OF THE GIVER FIRST; otherwise there will be nothing more to give…
Now this is what true GIVERS normally do NOT do….
The life as a GIVER is such a great experience once you know you give just to give, as I did for most of the years. So, take good care of you, together with the ones that really love you.
Look at yourself and look into the mirror of your own life and see who you are….really are…