What a life……Gré told us about her daughter Edith who died in West Africa at the age of 45 and her granddaughter Nancy, who died at the age of 16, also in West Africa. Different deaths at different times, but what an event…Then she told us about her husband who got dementia. Since a year she lives with her daughter, who wants to take care of her.
As a young child she wanted to study, but in these times children left school to work, there was not a chance of going to another school. So, though Gré was very bright and intelligent, she was not allowed to study more and had to work in the household as a servant. Later she tried to reach her destination by singing in an operetta company. That was her thing!!! She sang and got very good reviews, even in the newspapers! But after she got her third child, it was not possible anymore; she only took care of her family. As I hear her talk about it, her eyes start to sparkle and she looks 30 years younger. I can SEE the performer in her and how she sang….Then, within a second that all changes when she starts to talk about her husband…Her face gets a troubled expression and she sighs… An entire life in 20 minutes…a different life than she wanted to live herself, but she accepted it the way life appeared to her.
Jannie and I listened to her story, sitting on our beds and kept our silence, united in thoughts that surrounded Gré with our warm attention. A silence was audible, in a very deep and connected way. Three strangers together, it was a beautiful moment we shared.
Today I sat down for 5 minutes with each of them at the edge of their beds.
I asked Jannie what the most beautiful event in her life was, looking back…She smiled at me and got a very naughty expression on her face, her eyes started to glimmer.
‘My boyfriends!’ she answered me. I started to laugh.
‘I thought you said you never had one!’I reacted with a big smile.
‘No, I said I never had a husband!’ she replied and started to giggle out loud… hahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Back to Gré, she told me that her goal in life had always been to look after her husband and children in a good way.
‘I wanted them to study, so they would have a different life than I have had. I have been there for them always, as my daughter is taking care of me now. Sometimes I believe she would have a more relaxed life without having to work that hard. They live in a mill house and have a beautiful view over their land. But it also means that she HAS to work with her husband to be able to live there. He does so much too, they are such a perfect match together. That is real love, unbelievable. The way they are a team! I told them, sell the place and enjoy life more! Stop working! But they decide different and I understand that too. Now my daughter is taking care of me, which is a joy and a burden in a way. She works so hard, then she has me in the house too. I cannot imagine any better solution for me, my breakfast is served each day, she takes really good care of me. I only hope it is not too much for her…
She always loved her job and still does, but times have changed and there is a lot of responsability to it as well. I really, really hope that when I am not here anymore, they will sell the place and enjoy a life without the NEED to work. Her job as a teacher has become very severe; she starts work at 08.00 and comes in the house at 18.30 in the evening. Making dinner, and doing the errands in the house…she is such a hard worker!
I listen and then tell her that there are no NEED TO’s except for the ones you create yourself. Not even when your belief is that you have no choice….
‘I don’t agree, she HAS to work to be able to live there, she cannot quit’, she answered. I smiled at her.
‘You know, whenever you believe that you HAVE TO work, that is a DECISION….and decisions are made out of free will. Even when you are convinced you cannot FEEL a choice, that doesn’t mean you do not HAVE a choice. Because you do, you ALWAYS do…’
She looked at me and nodded her head.
‘I guess that is true too’, she answered.
‘I believe it IS true….’I told her.
Then she started to talk about death and asked how my view was on life after death. ‘I don’t believe that there is anything after this, do you?’ she asked me directly.
‘Yes, I do’ I said.
‘How can you believe that?’ she wanted to know.
‘Because I simply KNOW’ I explained her about the death of my father, who always believed there was NOTHING’and was convinced that death was death, but then had a preview of death and told me how amazingly wonderful that had been to him. My father! Who NEVER believed ANYTHING like that told me about the intense Light he had seen and how it stunned him andat the same time comforted him in a HUGE way….
Gré looked at me and only said “WOW”…..then she told me how much this meant to her.
‘You know, I see this on the tele too, but I don’t believe these television shows in which people tell things like this, it can be fake. But I can see how sincere you are and this is meaningful to me.’
Two old ladies, lying in the same room, just opposite of me, snoring again like curled up kittens in their little baskets most of the day. And as I am typing in the words for the blog I feel wonderfully happy.
I feel alive and blessed by talking to them. What a gift!