Missing is a feeling we all know. But what is it? When we see a person we love or like or are used to have around, we don’t miss them. They are there! We even don’t know IF we would miss them when they would be gone for a while. And isn’t it strange that we ONLY realize how much we miss them when they are REALLY gone?
Why is it that we do not feel happy, grateful or even blessed to have them around us all the time? The opposite is definitely true, when they are really gone, we DO MISS them ALL THE TIME!
Maybe it is because we think that these loved ones will ALWAYS be there. We just don’t realize that it is a GIFT to have them with us!
For instance, Brian and I are separated by an ocean. It could be that I am a different person in this, but I cherish EACH moment with Brian, over and over again….Is this because I KNOW he will be gone again after I have spent time with him?
Or is it because I just ENJOY each second with him and feel so blessed to “have” him in my life?
I am definitely a person who drinks in life! I see life as a streaming river of events, every now and then the river is calm, peaceful and then it starts to change into a totally different one, wild and shaking my world upside down, to be calm again. And I? I go with the flow….. Nice and easy….NOT!!!!
I CAN decide to go with the flow nice and easy, but there are circumstances which take the normal balance out of my life.
Such as the death of Tosca, my dear friend over 30 years who died at the end of March this year.
Or the sudden death, totally unexpected of Timothy, the boyfriend of my oldest daughter Elise.
Or the activities a stalker is showing me, trying to destroy my life.
It’s all up to ME! I have a choice to go with the flow, to resist, to get angry or to let go….
All of these emotions are chosen ones. Even when not deliberately chosen, they show us what we feel inside and shows us it is us who decide how we bring that emotion in the open.
The moment Elise heard about Tim’s death, I heard her scream, hyperventilating and cry out! As a mother this is devastating to hear. I wasn’t standing next to her physically and I could not comfort her as much as I could have done when she would have been directly with me. But at that moment I got myself together, though I was in total shock and cried too.
I asked her on the phone and talked to her in a very loving, comforting and peaceful way. She immediately calmed down and strangely enough, because of the calm tone in my voice, I calmed down too.
The feeling of being cut off of the person you love, can hurt intensely. My daughter, who had been through such a lot already, straightened her back and went to the clinical hospital to see Tim. It was there that she felt that he would be with her in another way while he was lying in front of her as well. A dual feeling. After that she came home and I saw and knew that she would never be the same again. Which does not necessary means that this would be a negative thing, inspite of the extreme greeve she felt.
The most remarkable thing happened. Though she feels deeply sad that Tim is not here in a physical way, Elise still talks to him, feels him and knows he is around. Is this because she WANTS him to be there? Does her mind makes a special chemistry that gives her this sensation? Or is the soul of Tim still around her?
What are your thought about this? Did you ever have an experience like this in your life? Do write a comment! We can learn from each other and enjoy the sharing.
Personally I feel Tim as well, as many other friends do too. We feel him, talk to him and feel a response to that. There will be people who will say that this is impossible. There will be people who say they recognize this. And there will be people who say that we are making this up. So be it.
Every person is entitled to think and feel what he or she decides to do.
It’s all good. There are no judgments.
The missing starts at the moment the person you have a connection with is not there in a physical form. Though it can even be that the missing starts when you are sitting next to the person you love, this is telling you something too…
Brian is an ocean away from me, I still FEEL him all the time. In my opinion,I am looking at a similar kind of situation. The person I love is not there in a physical way, he is still alive and feels a very strong connection with me too. So we put ENERGY in contacting each other even when we do not Skype or phone or text with each other.We feel good or we feel restless, we feel loved and we love. We sense when something is wrong, or feel when the other person is not doing well. And you know what? EVERYBODY can learn that! By first trying to hear your true inner voice ( so not what you WANT to hear, but listening to what you hear. Which can be different)
Brian feels me as he started to listen more and more to his inner voice. How wonderful! It helps him to connect more to himself and to the universe, it helps him to make the right decisions for him and me.It helps him to FEEL me more even though we are apart.
Because of the missing, we cannot hug, kiss or see each other a lot, we LONG to be together in a much stronger and more conscious way than when we would have been together all the time in a physical way. Does this mean that Brian MAKES ME COMPLETE? HA! NO…….. The only person who can GIVE me love, happiness etc. is ME! Brian can give me a smile, his love and I decide what to do with that, so I make myself happy or choose not to do so. Still with me here? When you have any questions please leave it in a comment down below! Back to Brian and I.
Strangely enough, the being apart AND the missingt did BRING us more than it TOOK away from us. Isn’t that weird?
NOW we CHOOSE to be together with so much awareness, we probably would not have been able to feel that when the situation was different and we both would have lived in the same city and would have seen each other each day.
We KNOW what it means to MISS each other! This is telling us how HUGE the gift is of being together…
The missing of a person you love, like or are used to can be an enormous power booster in your development as well. Might be that you will start to think different, it might be that you start to do things with more awareness, it HELPS you to become a different, even a more deeply feeling person. Of course this always is a CHOICE and YOU DECIDE what you want to do with it.
So how is this in your life?
Do you feel grateful that the person you love is still around? Or don’t you notice him or her and is he or she as common as your furniture…
Then, when this is the case, try to imagine how life would be without him or her. ..and be aware of the way you feel….is it a missing or maybe a relief?
What will it change for you?
And most of all: What do you CHOOSE?