Yesterday as I was doing some errands in my house, I saw this insect on my window. She was just sitting there, moving her head every now and then. I wondered what she was doing there, was she resting, enjoying the sun? Or was she just sitting there?
I looked through my window at the little yellow and blue bird that was flying off and on to feed her little birdies, settled in underneath my window. How wonderful spring can be! I enjoy the birds each day.
Normally I do not enjoy insects very much, but as I came back I saw that the insect on my window got company…there was a male insect, a totally different one, who penetrated the insect who was at my window before. I can imagine that this little female insect was caught by surprise! Well, I did not pay further attention to it, nature does its own thing and I was busy cleaning. But after a couple of hours as I came back, the two insects were still together at my window. How odd! I wanted to have a better look and saw that the male insect was stuck till half of his body in the female insect. Well, that ain’t good! was the first thought that came up with me! The female insect tried to walk away but took the male insect with her. She started to turn and turn to the left then to the right. But it did not have any effect. I looked for a while and could almost feel the despair of the female insect here! But as I started to focus on the male insect I felt the same! These two insect were coincidentally stuck to each other…….
This morning I opened my window wider to let the fresh air in more and saw the same two insects sitting at my window, they did not move at all. I felt such a pity for these two. At that moment the female started to move again, she tried to push the male insect from her with her tiny little feet. The male insect did the same and tried to get himself out of the situation he brought himself in. It did not succeed. I came back and saw the last struggle before they fell down together….
This reminds me of the way some people do their Love relationships.
They start, not always that consciously, with their relationship. Sometimes because they believe that this is it, there will be nothing better than this. Or they stick together because they are used to it. People even stick together because they think it’s too much trouble to separate again.
And there are couples who stay together because of the financial consequences.There are many reasons thinkable why people stay together, even when they are not happy! Isn’t that incredible?
There are relationships in which men suck out the life of their partner by being extremely dominant, leaving her no space at all.
There are female women who do the same with their partners! Only thinking about what THEY like and not considering the wants of their partner.
There are more resemblances with the insects. No matter what the movements the men or women make, the situation does not seem to change! Why?
They do not COMMUNICATE! As the insects were positioned with their back to each other, so can male and female be in a love relationship as well! Not willing to or not knowing how to communicate, they will feel seperated while being together, making no contact from soul to soul.
‘I have always been the first one to make up! Let him/ her do the first step to me now!
This is a remark I often hear in my office.
‘He never pays any attention to what my wants are. He comes in, eats his meal and lies down at the couch. Speechless… Except when he wants to have some coffee or when he demands a beer!’
The second remark often heard…
‘She only wants me to bring in the money which SHE wants to spend. She does not want to have sex anymore, what do I get back for all I do here?A male remark, often heard in my work.
‘I want him to wrap his arms around me, but the only thing HE wants is the NEWSPAPER!’
A complaint almost every woman shared with me at the office.
‘I cannot talk with my wife, she always tells me what to do, how to think. There is no space for me except for the space behind my computer’.
To all of these people who make these remarks I would like to ask one thing: Why don’t you COMMUNICATE in a calm and open way with each other?Is it because we think we already KNOW the answer and do not want to talk about it? Is it because we are tired of arguing? Are we thinking for the other person? Or are we afraid of what we will hear?
Are we scared that our partner will leave us?
Or is it because we do not know HOW TO COMMUNICATE?
Is it out of FEAR?
Are we afraid to lose what we have? But what is it that we have in a relationship like that?
When you want to improve your life in an incredible way, have a look at: www.option.org the website of The Option Institute in America. When you are not able to go there to take a course, at least order the cd’s of the programs. It can CHANGE your view on your life and it will MOST CERTAINLY teach you HOW TO COMMUNICATE! So many people have visited The Option Institute in America, all with the same outcome. They felt WAY better after the courses they took and their way of looking at themselves and their partners, even at the world changed in a way that comforted them perfectly. Being the real you in a world you see in a different way is a miracle, but miracles DO EXCIST!
What’s so special about The Option Institute. What can it give us? I can only talk for me in this, though I have spoken to many other persons who went there. Life isn’t the same anymore once you have been present there!
I came to the option Institute and the two weeks I spent there were the most incredible weeks of my entire life! I will write some things down here I learned.
STOP with the JUDGING.
Be the AUTHENTIC you!
STOP thinking for The Others.
The way The Others think or talk about you only tells something about the way THEY think and talk! It has absolutely NOTHING to do with you.
START the life you always wanted to have! Start to have the relationship you ALWAYS wanted to have! Start NOW! The Now is the only moment there is.
I want to add here:
My life, Brian’s life and the life of so many other people changed totally. Is this an Utopia? NO!
Take a look at the site of The Option Institute. (www.option.org) Read about the courses, decide to go there, have a look at the cd’s, the books etc. And make your life into the most SPECTACULAR life you always dreamed of!
Brian and I share so much of the Option way of thinking. It enriched our lives completely! The way we experience our Love of a lifetime is in a deeply connected and endlessly loving way. We totally accept each other, we talk about EVERYTHING and there are NO FIGHTS, nothing like that at all. There is a balance and when we feel like we are stuck with something, we COMMUNICATE…open and honest, with Love and no judgments.
The Option Institute is a school where people can learn from each other and the teachers and students are open and communicative to each other. It is possible to be in contact with the REAL you again. In a practical and “two feet in the here and now” way.
I want to ask some questions to you:
Reading all of this, how is your belief about your love relationship?
Do you recognize some of the things in this blog?
Do you have the feeling you are not satisfied within your relationship?
Do you want to reach out more to your partner by communicating better?
Do you want to tell him/ her what you REALLY want?
Do you feel fear when you would be open and totally honest with each other?
Do you want to decide to COMMUNICATE? REALLY communicate?
Do you think you are totally the AUTHENTIC YOU in your relationship?
Do you play “games” in your relationship, like wanting to manipulate your partner?
Do you think this is the best it can be in a Love relationship?
Do you still LOVE your partner in the way you want to love a partner?
Do you believe there is PASSION in your love relationship?
Do you still care about the way he/she feels in this relationship too?
Do you think you want to put more Love and energy in your Love relationship? And when not, do you know why that is? And is it irreversible?
Do you still feel like communicating, but now without judgements?
I want to ask you to think this over. Where do you stand in your relationship?
Please leave a comment on this and share your thoughts with us. We can learn from each other.