I read this in a local newspaper and felt completely amazed as I read more:
“The parts of your body that make you feel dreadful have to be showed again!!!!” HOLY MOLY!!!!!
When you feel very satisfied with who you are and do not JUDGE yourself for a little fat deposit, you will ENJOY your being in the sun TOTALLY! However when you BUY THE BELIEF that the only way to feel accepted is to look like the photo shopped models in advertisements with their long legs, long hair and perfect bodies, you will also buy the belief that you are NOT GOOD ENOUGH….WOW…..Is this a reality or a fairy tale belief? Make your own choice!
Personally I do not belief in good or bad, in thick is ugly and thin is beautiful. Easy speaking since I am not thin either….hahahahahaha! But seriously, when God would have meant women to look like men, women would not have breasts or fat at all!! They would look all the same! Men are “designed” to have no cellulite, women do have cellulite. Women have round sculptures, men not. It’s a normal thing, but we do not want to be normal, we want to be SPECIAL. By buying the belief that we can only be special when we are thin, pretty or amazingly bright, we MAKE ourselves feel as if we would not be good enough…
As a woman I do not fancy incredible skinny man types, still there are women who absolutely adore men who look like that! So it’s all about CHEMISTRY then? YES and NO…..Of course there is chemistry between two people who want to make Love in a passionate way. (I always smile when I write down the word passionate because I used to write passionated instead of passionate and Brian was SO AMUSED! He thought it was not only cute but even ADORABLE!) Chemistry is a part of Love. The only thing is that we BUY BELIEFS the media( television, newspapers, advertisements, movies etc.) are presenting us. They WANT us to believe that you HAVE to look like movie stars and when you do NOT look like them, you HAVE to try to look like movie stars as much as possible. So women buy make-up of the stars and hair stuff famous actors use (remember the: “because I am worth it” advertisement?) they go to the dentist and bleach their teeth so they look like real unreal people. Women buy nails with white tops all sculptured in the same way (woman’s hands look all alike because of that) and hairstyles of famous people are imitated. Trend setters we call them. The rest will follow and the inventors/ creators do GREAT business with it. Tsjing Tsjing!!!!
But why do we want to look more interesting, better, prettier etc. than we are? I don’t mind when women want to look better, prettier etc. I only wonder why women BELIEVE they are LESS than other women when they have more sculptures or do not wear make- up or are too skinny….And I am curious why women feel more confident when they buy clothes of a certain brand and want to look like a person they are not….
Is it because these women feel unsure about themselves and want to “buy” themselves an identity that does not really belong to them? Do they “borrow” the ego of the famous person to hide their own? It’s a fascinating thing…but is it satisfying on long term? When you feel like you HAVE to be someone you are not because you find yourself NOT attractive enough, are you then still looking through YOUR eyes or through the eyes of THE OTHERS?
Could it be the other way around? Look at this beautiful advertisement the Body shop created. A Wonderful statement to let you know that we all are REAL women! And therefore BEAUTIFUL!
It’s all about what YOU think, what YOU want, what YOU decide. So let us STOP LOOKING AT OURSELVES and STOP JUDGING OURSELVES through the filters (eyes) of THE OTHERS!!!
Brian told me that he once was called “donut belly” by his grandfather, who loved him very much and Brian loved him the same. Brian never considered himself to be too fat until another person told him so. Brian TRANSLATED it to something NEGATIVE. He started to JUDGE himself because he started to look at himself through the eyes of THE OTHERS…and therefore Brian started to buy THEIR believes and took them in as his own. That did not bring him any feeling of happiness or self trust! The opposite happened…Brian BELIEVED THE OTHERS were RIGHT and thought he WAS donut belly and therefore UNLOVABLE….
It took Brian years and years before he was able to Love himself, to look at himself without judging. How many of us DO JUDGE themselves OVER and OVER again each day?
How many times do YOU JUDGE YOURSELF a day?
How many times do YOU JUDGE ANOTHER PERSON a day?
How many times YOU BELIEVE THAT IS THE UNDOUBTABLE TRUTH a day?
Ever asked yourself WHY you do that?
Think about remarks such as:
‘Oh God, that’s really something for me to do!
‘I cannot do that!
‘I’m SO STUPID!’
‘I do not dare to say no, suppose THEY will not like me?’
‘I will do that because I do not want THEM to think I am afraid’
‘What will people think of me?’
‘Better a lie than unpopular’
‘When people would know the real me, they wouldn’t like me anymore’
‘I am way too fat to go in bikini’
‘Do YOU think I look fat in this dress?’
‘I am not good enough to: get that job……/ to become a model…. / to talk in public…/to tell the truth…/ to be a partner…/ to have a Lover…. / to do an interview…/ etc. etc.
Not to mention the way we seem to focus on things we do NOT have instead of feeling happy with or for the things we DO have….
When you think this all over in your life, what do you see? Do you recognize things here? Do you look at yourself through YOUR filter or do you use the filters of The Others? And how does that feel? Do you WANT to CHOOSE for that way of living? Or do you choose to have a view of your own? It’s all up to YOU…..