The greatest power of all is LOVE…. But how about it when Love turns into HATE? What is the advantage of forgiveness in this? and what IS forgiveness?
First I want to start with the feeling/ emotion that is called HATE. Do you know anyone in your environment who likes to hate? Who gets energy out of this feeling? A person who even says that Hate is a positive feeling? We all know situations in which we were angry once and “hated” another person. But were we able to hold on to that emotion? And more important; did it create happiness?
In most of the cases I discussed this with people, they all agreed about one thing; they simply HATED the feeling of HATING another person. But when it came to the reason why they hated another person that much, their emotions of feeling ANGER brought up the feeling of HATE again…It seems to be an endless circle. But is it really?
Forgiveness is a word we can split. For- give- ness. FOR…..(I) GIVE…What did YOU decide to give to whom?
Thinking about the forgiveness process this would also mean that we JUDGE another person for something he or she DID to US! Something we did not approve off………..Or do we only create an opinion here?
Considering this (to forgive) to be one of the most difficult things to do, I want to ask you why? Do you really BELIEVE that this is hard to do? Or don’t you WANT to forgive because the other person does not DESERVE to be forgiven? Who do you think has the power? You or the person you hate? Who creates power over who here?
In my opinion forgiveness has a totally different meaning. When there is something that I don’t like ( I do not hate people)I can give it back to the person who did it. When I do this, I can ask for Light, Love and Guidance for this person. So this person might get help in order to feel and think in a different way and therefore act differently, more Loving for example. Not only to yourself but to The Others as well. To create happiness instead of unhappiness. To create a feeling of balance instead of who is right. Is this an UTOPIA? Does this mean that I am an idealistic person who does not live with her two feet firmly on this ground, in the here and now? Not at all!
When I feel that something is not right, when something another person did towards me is dishonest, it means that I am judging that other person for that. I do not WANT to judge him or her, but it FEELS like I DO judge. This means I DECIDE to judge… What this person did, does not fit in my beliefs and therefore I start to react with emotions such as sadness, feeling hurt, feeling treated in an unfair way, feeling anger, disappointment etc.
But what if we LOOK at what the other person does and choose/ decide NOT to JUDGE…………..To accept the other person the way he is, knowing that he cannot HARM us when we believe in ourself! Knowing that whatever the other person says or does is only the OPINION of the other person and is reflected towards us…Would you think that you would feel the NEED ( a need is something we believe we cannot live without) to get such a thing INSIDE your system, think it over and over and develop negative emotions on that? Why would you?
Realizing this, we could choose to act and react totally differently. We can decide to leave the entire load with the other person without pulling it into our system! We can decide to choose for emotions that will create happiness! We can decide to surround ourselves with people who GIVE us energy instead of TAKING energy…We control our own thoughts and ONLY our own thoughts, meaning that we can decide to stay happy instead of letting ourselves drift off in a stream that is not even ours! It is the energy of the other person, so why inhale it as ours?
(Especially when we let in feelings of HURT and ANGER or FEAR, we do not create happiness at all!)
So how do YOU choose to react?
When you decide to let in feelings that do NOT create happiness, what do you WANT and DECIDE to do with that? Do you stick to the feeling that you have the RIGHT to be Angry, feel Hurt or even do Fear? How does that feel to you? Does it create a happy feeling? Does it GIVE you energy or does it TAKE energy?
Back to the forgiveness thing… I do not CHOOSE to receive HATE.
I make my decisions in what I believe is important, not the other person who tells me something negative. Even when I unexpectedly DO feel HURT, ANGRY, SAD or even when I DO feel FEAR, I can ALWAYS DECIDE NOT TO STICK TO THAT! But to be honest, this does not happen very often, not anymore. Life is a lovely learning proces!
I often think back of a quote by TUPAC SHAKUR: “ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME”…………..Now, I do not believe in JUDGING. I believe in looking into the mirror of life, of lives and see all of our learning moments. Judging means that you look at a situation with the thought of good and bad, of right and wrong, of mistakes and faults. I do NOT BELIEVE in that. I believe in my learning moments, even when they are painful they teach me. Giving me the insights I was looking for. Insights I even asked for… Creating more Love and inner wisdom.
How about you?