Watching an episode of “House”, it remembered me of some doctors who seem to believe it is their duty to tell patients they are going to die and cannot have any hope of recovery. They tell this to patients who decided to have hope, despite their diagnose. These patients are taken apart, and in”doc”trinated by test resulst and therefore facts… But is this the only truth? Or is this the truth they see for you? And how does this influence your beliefs?
Thinking about this I remember a man who went to the Option Institute (www.option.org ). He was diagnosed with cancer and had no chance on recovery at all. This guy decided not to take the word of his doc for granted and made his own decision. He was not only deciding not to die, he even wanted to live his life the way he wanted it to be lived! And so he did. He changed his beliefs and was able to become a healthy person again.
How is this possible? Thinking about this I remember another story, told by Brandon Base. She made it too, by healthy nutrition and a huge change of beliefs. She decided to write a book about her emotional journey and is teaching another way of living in her book “The Journey”. I will give you a link to more information about this: http://amethyst-healing.co.il/en/program.asp an interesting site where therapists work with her method. I will also give you the link to Brandon base: www.thejourney.com
By reading her book I simply sensed she was so right about the way she looks at healing.
Back to beliefs that make a difference…
There has been a time I did not feel well, life did not give me what I expected and I kept on walking in circles. I did not know why I felt so horrible. Of course there were situations which needed to be handled with care and of course I was tired, deadly tired even of working too many hours and not taking care of myself. Anyway not enough, I ate poorly and did not get enough sleep. I did not want to be someone who nags and complains, so I kept on going. The truth in this is I did not connect to my inner voice anymore and felt like I was driven to an open sea without any horizon.
Till one day, my oldest daughter asked me:’ Mam, do you really believe that this is going to make things better? By going on and on without looking at the why you are doing it? Why can you always see things for The Others and not for yourself? Why do you always take care of everyone except for you?’ My daughter was 11 at that time and I felt as if she took me by the hand and placed me in front of my mirror of life. That was a point of no return for me. In that minute I saw who I had become. And I did not like what I saw in my own mirror. I hugged my child, thanked her for her wisdom and decided to change my beliefs. Though it has been a real challenge for me to take good care of me, I succeeded. It has not been an easy path, but it surely brought me a lot of insights. Such as this: taking good care of me had to do with looking at the real me and decide I was worth to be Loved. First of all by ME! Being raised by a mother who always had been teaching to put The Others first and never ask anything for yourself, I started to understand how to Love myself. This always is a personal journey which will be different to every person. My lack of self esteem was taught by my mother, who believed this was the best way to live and to feel protected. Whenever you do what The Others expect you to do, you would be less hurt. However, that vision means you also lack a lot of opportunities because you live your life in a depending way. When I look at her now, I smile. She has taken over certain beliefs I started to hold during my life and when she looks in her own mirror of life now, she definitely sees another person than she used to be. Isn’t the journey of Life amazing? The way we can be a mother to our own mother, the way our children can teach us things? By holding up our mirror of life? So we can face who we are or who we have become? Wouldn’t it be a huge misunderstanding to believe only mothers can teach their children? It’s amazing and wonderful at the same time when we understand we can be both; parent and child without any judgment in it. Life gives us insights, even when they seem to be hidden at first sight; they will show themselves when we are ready for it. Here we are, we have the same body, the same eyes, we walk on the same feet and yet everything has changed. Our appearance has changed, the way we view our world and most of all, the way we see ourselves…
The more I started to listen to my inner voice, the more relaxed and the happier I felt.
I know now that my beliefs were the cause. At that time I only felt the “I have to’s, the I need to’s and the I should have done’s and last but not least the “what if” questions…” instead of giving myself the confirmation I wanted, I chose to want to get the confirmation I was a good person from The Others. It was very important to me people liked me in that time. I wanted to be seen and longed to be Loved. When I look at life now, I give myself my own confirmation. I do not NEED to be confirmed by The Others anymore. Does that mean I do not like it when a person tells me he likes me or Loves me? Of course not! I Love to be Loved and I like to be liked!
The only difference is that I do not feel dependant of it anymore. Whenever a person likes me, that’s great. Whenever a person does not like me, that’s totally okay with me!
I started to get rid of the “What if questions” and decided not to JUDGE myself anymore. Sounds like an arrogant way of behavior? Sounds like I don’t care about The Others? Well, it may sound like that, but it is not that at all! First I take good care of ME now, before I decide who I want to give my Love to and who I want to be friends with. I do my best to eat at regular times, eat more healthy stuff and decide how I react on events in my life with great consciousness. Whenever I start to feel stress, I start asking myself questions like: ‘Why do I do this? Where am I afraid of? What is good for me now? What do I decide to choose? How will I respond? Do I want to choose to feel good or bad about this? What do I gain by troubling myself? Am I still present in the Now or am I already in the future or maybe even still in the past? Do I expect negative things to happen and if so, why do I do that? Will I choose to CREATE more happiness instead of worrying about things? Why not decide to feel TRUST? Let things happen at the time they will happen and then react to them instead of thinking about what might happen and never does happen at all?’
Life means you can go with the flow, there is no control and there is no certainty. No guaranties, only the present, only the Now…I get better with that each day. Staying in the Now…Enjoying the now, sitting on the deck in the sun, writing this blog. The view is amazing; the lake is like a beautiful shiny mirror. The trees and the few houses are both at shore as they resemble themselves in the water mirror. Pine trees hold life in it, squirrels hop in and out the tops of the trees with jumps I can only dream of. And as I feel almost one with my environment, a beautiful black and cobalt blue bird flies on the deck. He looks at me for more than minutes, as if he tries to discover what kind of big bird I am. He feels totally at ease while looking at me and I feel one with the bird as well. A wonderful moment in the NOW…
What if I had been worrying and would not have been present at all? Would I have seen the bird? Would the bird have stayed with me for the time he decided to be with me here in the now? Would I have felt the same? I don’t think so. If I had been worrying I would not have been sitting on the deck at all. I would not have seen the bird and I would not have felt this almost serene peace in myself as I do now.
I Love being me and I Love The Others for who they are, exactly like they are.
I feel blessed with every minute of my life and sense a deep gratefulness I am alive.
No matter what life will bring me, I will be there.
Present in the now, choosing my own beliefs, each day, over and over again. Beliefs I create, beliefs I choose to create even more happiness.
What we expect is what we create, what we create is the outcome of what we choose to belief.
How about you?