Does this mean we are incomplete without our dude or gal?
What was it that was bothering me as I first heard this? As I grew up I started to understand more about it. People can feel like something is MISSING… Sometimes it seems to be an unspecified feeling, sometimes it is the feeling someone else owns the missing part. We even start to BELIEVE they might have the MISSING part to COMPLETE us….
We start to believe we NEED that person with that certain potential and worse: we start to Believe we CANNOT live WITHOUT it!
‘YOU COMPLETE ME”…. is the confession we cannot be happy without something another person might give us. We make ourselves deliberately dependant. But what if it was only a PROJECTION of what we lack ourselves? And what happens when the person involved does not ALWAYS give us what we want to feel complete? Do we suddenly start to feel miserable? Do we start manipulating in order to get what we want or “NEED”?Do we get frustrated when the person involved does not always feel like giving us what we want?
I want to give you an example:
Girl meets boy. Boy is daring and courageous in the eyes of the girl. She is kind of shy and sexy in the eyes of the guy. Boy wants girl because he can feel THE MAN when he is with her. Girl wants boy because she believes he is her PROTECTOR and acts Brave and Macho.
They feel very happy and start to live together. After two weeks she starts to see he is not ALWAYS like this. She tries to get him back into the position she likes him to be in. Boy does not want to be acting like the FONZ all the time and gets irritated. Girl does not understand and starts to cry. Boy does not understand and goes out for a beer. Girl gets angry because she believes he does not care how she feels. Boy gets home and goes to bed without saying anything. Girl feels rejected and cries herself to sleep. Next morning boy wants to have sex. This is his manly way of making up. Girl rejects him and feels insulted and misunderstood. She turns away and believes he first will NEED to APOLOGIZE. Boy thinks he better take a break and let her be for a while. Boy makes coffee and starts to whistle. Girl is still in the bed starting to get mad. Boy takes the newspaper and sits down. Girl starts to cry loud. Boy turns the radio on. Girl gets real mad now. Boy has no idea of this all and simply enjoys his coffee. Girl gets down and starts to slam the door of the fridge. Boy asks: ’What’s a matter hun?’ Girl prefers not to answer. Boy believes she did not hear him and repeats the question. Girl refuses to look at him and says: ‘Nothing!’ Boy says: ‘Okay!’ and gets back to his newspaper. Girl starts to get even more angry and feels like she is of no importance at all….
She/He feels “incomplete” and misunderstood because she/he does not get what she/he believes she/he “NEEDS”and does not get what he/she SHOULD give her/him….
In my office I get hundreds of angry women. They all believe their guy does not really SEE them. They all feel REJECTED. They are angry because first their guy DID give them the attention they wanted and now he does not do that anymore.
The women I talked to in my office all feel like THEY are doing the hard part and the guy only works and does not pay real attention to what she feels. Yeah…right!….Ever tried to let a blind man see? How can a blind man see when he does not have the sight?( Or a clue what is going on?) How can you expect your guy to understand you when you say:’Nothing’ at the moment he is asking you what’s a matter. And THEN when he does not react the way we want him to react, we apparently choose to feel a victim? So ladies, let’s be CLEAR in our WANTS and TELL our guys what we want! Be AUTHENTIC!
And dudes, please don’t take the “Oh Nothing…” for granted, but take your girl by the hand or hug her, hold her and ASK what is really going on in a Loving way. It’s all about the Energy you send to her. And remember: the other way around it’s the same.
Every day gives you the most valuable gift EVER: The moment NOW…it provides you with NEW chances, NEW opportunities, NEW challenges. The most beautiful thing is that the moment NOW always travels with you where ever you go. So let’s create the most interesting journey each day, over and over again. You are the director of your own life!
And this is what Brian posted on Face book the day before that:
You are the writer, producer, and director of your own life. Any time a scene is not working, you are free to say “cut”, rewrite the scene, then say “ACTION!” You are also free to fire anyone out of your story at any time, and to hire anyone into your story at any time!
So when your belief is that you are not understood well enough; CREATE the Energy to tell what’s really in your heart, soul and mind. Instead of feeling negative emotions which will distract and hold you from your true want!
Your dude or our girl does not have the ability to Make you COMPLETE… You and ONLY you are able to do that! All by yourself!
You do not NEED the confirmation, the attention, the appreciation etc. when you feel and know you Love, accept and appreciate yourself…
The NICE thing in this is that your dude or girl can be the STIMULUS to CREATE even MORE JOY!!!By being MORE AUTHENTIC…
You are your own Complete Person; you are your own C.P!!!(Doesn’t that sound GREAT!
So when you break up, you will not be Lost because you will always have YOU…Your partner can NEVER give you what you “need”…YOU CAN!
You can give yourself Everything you “need”… Reaching out for what your wants and even your “needs” are is a result of who you believe YOU are. When you feel balanced in your life, when you feel happy with yourself, when you totally Love and Accept the real authentic you, there will only be Trust and Confidence no matter what the circumstances are or what people say.
How about the feeling Complete when a dude decides he wants to break up with you? I asked myself this question too. What would be my reaction when this would happen to me?
Well I can tell you what I would do, I would let him go…. Does this mean I do not “fight” for him? No! I would talk to him and ask my questions. When the guy would still believe I am not his real choice I feel better off without him. I would accept his decision. Does this mean I would not feel hurt or sad? I might CHOOSE to feel that for a certain time, yes. But I also know I am fully capable of living on my own. I can create new Happiness. I WANT to create even more Happiness than I experienced till that moment. And I will Trust that whenever this would happen I would be on my way to find an even better love.
As I Trusted and found Brian after my last breaking up. Brian is an even better Love and more connected to me than any other man has ever been. I feel totally Loved and Accepted as the person I am on all levels, I feel appreciated and I feel deeply HAPPY! Does Brian MAKE me COMPLETE? NO! I already WAS Complete. Brian is the stimulus who inspires me to CREATE more Happiness! We do that TOGETHER!
Feel Trust when you are alone with Christmas! And when you feel Lost or Sad or Alone or even Depressed understand that you and ONLY YOU are responsible for that. You CREATE your OWN feelings! So Why not create HAPPY feelings instead?
Feel that by creating Trust and Love you will open up your heart, soul and mind to send good vibrations and Good Energy that WILL attract the right person. That is when you know what your true WANTS are….So to all of our readers I would like to say:
Brian and I will keep on writing the blog and reach out for you all!
There is one message I want to leave with you here:
Love yourself for the wonderful and most beautiful person you are and know that you are COMPLETE! Know and Believe that YOU and ONLY YOU are the director of YOUR Life!