What happens when people SAY they Love you and act in the opposite way? What happens when a partner says you are Everything for them and in the same breath call you “Stupid”, “Miss Wasting”” (money wise), “Unattractive”, “Fat”, “Lazy” and more of these beautiful and Caring Loving words…Do you even recognize the man you fell in Love with?
And do you REALLY believe it when he tells you that this is all YOUR Fault…..????
Are YOU responsible for HIS bad behavior? Does he demand you to give HIM the moneyYOU earn each month? Does he tell you to be grateful that there is a guy like him who was good enough to TAKE you? Well ladies, have I got news for you all….
This guy is NOT good enough…for YOU!
When we suffer from a lack of self esteem, or when we suddenly feel like we are worth NOTHING and our beloved partner keeps on telling us so, it’s time to kick some ass…..HIS ass…..
Don’t believe him when he all of a sudden is very gentle and caring towards you, he is probably afraid of losing his SLAVE….
But we had such a good time together too when we started and even now….every now and then he does not call me names or does not beat me up! He even can be nice! I feel guilty to think this badly about him, he is my man! He Loves me!
Well, let me ask YOU then….when he really Loves you (as you believe he does deep down there somewhere) would he abuse you? Is that LOVE???
Or did you believe his not authentic attitude and thought this was who he really was? To find the truth the guy you got stuck up with is a dominant ruler, a selfish s-hole who only wants to make one person happy and that is himself?………….
Women believe in the prince on the white horse, the gentleman who is caring, Loving, a person who walks his talk. We PROJECT what we want to see on the dude so we start to BELIEVE the person we SEE is the same person he IS… But is this true?
Can it be the partner to be, or the partner who already is with you, will turn out to be an actor? A bad actor? Will he play his part to impress you first and then when he HAS you, will show you his real face? Does he manipulate you? Because he KNOWS you WANT him to be that way? The polite, gentle, caring and so called Loving dude? Or is the guy you fell in Love with still as caring and gentle and Loving as he was at the start of your romance?
I know Brian is….so am I. We have been authentic from teh very first start. A fairy tale? An impossibillity only possible for some of us? Don’t think so. When you start to believe in the real and most beautiful you, it WILL be possible…
When you feel doubt in being with your partner, do NOT ignore that little voice! A real good guy will stay who is was at the beginning. A TAKER will only ACT like he is this all to get what HE wants…and after 3-6 months the first signs will start to show. He will not ask for things but starts demanding. He will TELL you what HE wants and when you hesitate or worse refuse he will try to manipulate you so you will start to feel guilty…
You will feel like a bad or selfish person, like he tells you that you are when you do not serve his needs…
I am writing about this because a lot of women are going through this process. Why do they almost always JUDGE themselves for being not good enough? Why would you not turn that around into this:
Who do I believe is GOOD ENOUGH for ME???
There are still men who can almost sense a woman who is a SERVER, and can CREATE GUILT. They will take away your borders, without any respect and turn things around so YOU will start to think you did not try enough, did not do enough or did not understand enough. Ask yourself this question:
Is it true?
And start to see yourself as you, start to look through YOUR eyes instead through HIS eyes at you….
Women who WANT a partner VERY badly will be great SERVERS. They will even expend their qualities being SERVANTS…..WHY?
Because they MAKE themselves BELIEVE they NEED to be CONFIRMED by The Others…such as a partner.WHY?
Because they made up or bought the belief they are NOT GOOD ENOUGH? And therefore can not get the right partner? BULL SHIT….
The Other person is ALWAYS right…
The other person always KNOWS better
The Other person takes over……………….well, how does that feel to you? Start to get used to it? And whenever you doubt him you immediately start to feel guilty?
Is this serving YOUR wants? Your “needs”? Or only his needs?
Is he really interested in how and what YOU feel or think? And when he is, will that serve you or will it only give him more insights in how you feel and think? So he can start to control your life more?
It may seem I am a man hater…well I definitely am not!
It may seem I am negative towards a Taker….Well I am!
I do not like any dude to rule my world by his wants. Why? Because I believe in equal behavior. I believe in negotiation. I believe in open minded conversations and full acceptance of each other. I believe in authenticity. I believe in being loyal to yourself and to The Other(s). I believe in a “Yes” and a “No” and I do not believe in a “Yes” which actually is a No or a “No” which actually is a ‘Yes”……No games for me. Just not interested in double messages or hidden agendas. Be who you are…………and tell your partner what you really want and how you feel. That’s what I believe in!
When YOUR partner does not feel interested in what YOU have to say or how you feel or think, kick his S…..for he does not deserve to be with you. You want to have a guy that really LOVES you for who you are. Not a guy who wants to profit from you.
All the sadness, all the cruelties, all the disbelief, all the tears, and all the hope that will be taken away from you…. is it worth it? All the energy you spent on the guy? Was he worth it? What did it teach you? What insights did it give you?
Or do you only think back of the beautiful moments in which he was so loving to you? Well when he did NOT act this, he will be Loving you all the time. A man who really Loves you will NEVER tell you that you are not good enough for him. He will be HAPPY to be WITH you and cherish you. Never let anyone take away the true belief that you are worth true Love. I believe it really is the other way around. The guy is not good enough for YOU….
So, to all of the women who are in an abusive relationship, open your eyes and SEE!!! See what is REALLY going on. And ACT from the knowledge these men don’t deserve YOU! They play a game of rules, THEIR rules to play with.
When you start to SEE instead of projecting what your wants are you will be able to dis-cover your partner. When you choose to close your eyes for what the guy is showing you that is YOUR DECISION.…You apparently do not WANT to SEE and ignore the little warning voice within you. You feel flattered or Loved, in fact this is what the guy WANTS you to project on him. Just know this is not THE truth. It’s only what the guy WANTS you to believe….
So, when you date a guy BE AUTHENTIC and ASK him to be AUTHENTIC too. Saves you a lot of time and trouble. Make your own wantslist and look at what your guy or date scores on that. It can be a huge help and help you in an unbelievable and good way! LOVE yourself and ATTRACT the guy/ woman that is really the most perfect fit for you….
I have had my share of s-holes in my life too…the proces of getting some challenging insights. I still believe in men. I chose to still open up myself for the good guy. And I did get my mister Right. No projection involved here, just being ourselves and Loving every moment of it!
How about you?