(Originally posted October 6-9, 2009)
When I was 9 years old, I woke up in bed and knew exactly what I dreamed, it was one of these dreams you always remember. It is something you simply know; this dream is more than just a dream. So clear, so different… I saw a glimpse of the future; I saw a face I would always remember. Though I did not know who this person was, I remember I was fascinated by the look on his face. I saw a man standing in front of a little rolling, green hill. He was gazing, I saw a little pond and trees. But most impressive was this look on his face, so peaceful, so calm, so serene, so wise… I wondered why I saw him, opened my curtains and sat on my knees in my bed, looking up at the sky with all the stars. And thought: Where are you? Somewhere on this planet is a person that feels connected to me, who are you and why do you show yourself to me? I sat there for several minutes before I went to sleep again. I lived my life, but never forgot the man I saw. I kept him in a little spot of my soul, cherished him. Somehow it comforted me, knowing there was someone who loved me in a real connected way. Someone who truly belonged to me…
Time went by; I lived my life, got married, “received” three beautiful children, got divorced, and married again, all learning relationships… I know no regrets, though I felt severe emotional pain, the most positive of it all was that I was given insights. In the end of that all, I can say that it has served me and brought me to the right place and the right moment. And what’s even more important, it brought me totally in the NOW. My past is not active anymore, because it was there to teach me certain skills, tools and new insights. Because of that I was able to grow more and more, on different levels. Today I feel blessed, grateful and lovingly ME! Oh, I have had a rough life, have been through a lot, but I can look at it with a smile now, without my learning I would not be the person I am today and today I simply love myself and my life!
About 5 years ago, I dreamed my second dream, the same man appeared. I saw him, sitting at a light wooden, long table, chairs from the same color wood and huge glass windows behind him. He was leaning on this table with his left elbow, while he was pointing upwards with his right hand in an asking gesture.
‘Where are you?’ he asked me. On that moment I simply knew that this was the man who was looking for me. I felt a deep, warm, tingly, very loving sense that grew stronger till I started to cry. I felt so extremely happy! I expected him to meet me in a short time and was very anxious to finally meet him, this stranger who felt as if I had known him all of my life….
But nothing happened. I got involved in another relationship, very caring, very loving, but it was not the feeling I had as I woke up from my second dream. So I felt lonely in a strange way. I ended the relationship and over more than a year later, I sat down and connected myself to the Light. I still know exactly the words I said as I sat down at the side of my bed that night:
‘I connect myself to the Light; the Universe and I ask from the bottom of my soul if the person who really belongs to me, may be brought on my path of life. I will trust on that and on that I trust…’
One week later I started to feel restless and felt myself drawn to two books that Iris Tuomenoksa gave me as she left for the US. She had given these books seven years before, with the message:
‘I feel it is the right thing to leave these books with you. Never give them away, these books are my “bibles”, my life has changed reading these books. I want to give them to you, when you don’t want them anymore, please return them to me!’
In 7 years, I had never felt the urge to read them, but now I did. I read the first book, “Happiness Is A Choice” in only four hours. I recognized so much in what I read that I felt wonderfully happy and very excited! I lived exactly the way Barry Neil Kaufman (Bears) wrote about. And there seemed to be a whole institute with people that thought in the same way! (The Option Institute, go to their website, www.option.org for more info or to get a copy of Happiness Is A Choice).
The following weeks I simply knew I had to contact Iris about this, but we had “lost” contact. We were friends and loved each other very much; still our lives went different ways. But I knew that what we felt was still there. I looked her up on Facebook and she was there! I sent her a message. She responded enthusiastically. Told me that there would always be a bed for me at their house in the US. As I was on her Facebook page, I saw a very small picture of a man. I was completely stunned!!! Here was the man I had seen in my dreams! The same man that came to me as I was only 9 and later as I was 46! I reacted very emotionally and I felt my tears dropping down, got shivers all over and thought: “What the heck am I going to do with this?”
I decided then to send him a Facebook friend’s request. He accepted… Now I could see more of him, but as I looked at his front page, I saw the number 36 behind his name. “Oh shit!” I thought. Is he only 36? I am 51!!!
It took me three days before I went back on his page, I sighed deep and then began to read. What a relief! The guy wasn’t 36, there were 36 photos in his album!!! Ha, ha, ha! As I looked at his photos, I got more and more confirmed that this was the same guy. It gave me so much loving feelings, but what was I going to do with that all? I waited, thought maybe he has a family, three kids playing in the backyard. Is it right to interfere here? Then I saw that he was single. I decided that I wanted to write him a message, so I did. I got one back, he would contact me on Thursday before “Wide Awake”, an Option Institute program (for more info see www.option.org). I sat down on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday etc. Not a word…. I got confused, this could not be! On the moment I did not expect a message, there it was! I first thought, well, you have been waiting so long before you got back to me, I will wait now with reading it. But I couldn’t. I waited for maximum 6 minutes and started to read his mail. He was very opened and authentic, I immediately felt connected. That was the beginning of the amazing months that followed. First messages on Facebook, later e-mails, then chatting. At the end of June we both knew we loved each other deeply without even ever have seen each other…
In July we decided to be on Skype camera, our love became deeper and deeper. I decided to go to America, to meet with Brian, the love of my life and to take two courses at the Option Institute (www.option.org ). The 20th of August I arrived on “Bradley International” airport in Hartford. I almost missed my connecting flight from Philadelphia to Hartford, stumbled in only two minutes before departure! With a head red as a tomato I finally arrived, rushed into the restrooms and tried to look the best I could after coming out of it. I took a deep sigh and felt my heart bouncing between my ears. I walked down to the end of the hall and took the stairs down to where HE would be waiting. First he saw my boots! Ha, ha, ha! Then slowly the rest of me, escalating down…. I saw Brian with his cute sign that said:”Meer!” And threw down my entire luggage and ran into his arms, I was finally HOME!!! It felt amazingly well known, as if I had been off for a few months and returned! Brian and I looked in each others’ eyes and were sure. We would be together for a lifetime! As we were laughing, kissing and hugging while walking in the parking garage, a man passed by and made a remark: “Hey! Get a room!”, while laughing. Brian answered: “We’ve got one, we’re just trying to make it there!” We laughed and went to the Sheraton hotel in Hartford, room 502. As we came in I saw Brian had decorated the room and there were balloons all over the floor. On the bed he had putted the beautiful cloth I had sent him earlier. How romantic! I stayed 6 weeks with Brian, 6 most fantastic, beyond imagination weeks! We stayed at Iris and Mark’s place for a month, decided we wanted to live in the surroundings of Great Barrington and felt extremely happy. Brian was happily unemployed, with one big wish: MAKING MOVIES!!!
I as a writer started to write the book of our lives together, not only from this life, but from former, past lives as well. We have been connected before at least two times. We started to talk about that, after I will have finished the book, Brian will make it into a screenplay. We will love, live and work together! Living our dream, knowing it is US that DECIDE how we are going to live our lives. Knowing there is a benevolent universe to provide us with EVERYTHING we need! And sharing all of that with our readers….giving you all a view in our lives and how to make an effortless, exciting and most wonderful relationship!