(Originally posted November 28, 2009).
I’ve had a number of people lately who feel like their lives or their relationships are not where they want them to be. To that end, I wanted to repost this blog because I feel like this is a GREAT message for those who are not where they want to be in their lives. Only YOU control where you go or what you do next. Read this and then DO IT!
Two quotes to start this blog. The title is from Terminator 2. And this:
“Ahhhh, their (those who died young) message (to us) is clear: abandon certainty. Abandon certainty! That’s life’s deepest command. That’s what life’s all about. We’re a probe into the unknown, into the uncertain…If certainty is knowing absolutely an absolute future, then that’s only death disguised! Such a future becomes now!”
—The Preacher’s speech, Children of Dune, Frank Herbert
I wasn’t destined to become the Eggman, but I did anyway. I was destined to be Uncle Brian. But when my first niece, Hayley, was still working on her first words, I kept trying to get her to include “Uncle Brian” in that early vocabulary, and with a big smile and happy-sounding voice, I kept entreating her, “say ‘Uncle Brian’, you can do it, Uncle Brian, Uncle Brian”. And something came out. It didn’t sound like anything understandable to me, but my brother Marty and sister-in-law Rachel SWORE up and down that what came out was “Eggroll”. And in that moment, my destiny changed. I irrevocably became “Eggroll”, or the more informal “Eggy” or just “Egg” to all of my future nieces and nephews. Eventually also to my siblings and in-laws, though the older generations find it too “silly” to use it.
So now 16 years later, the ease with which “Eggy” or “Uncle Eggy” rolls off the tongues of family members is a wonderfully constant reminder to me that no matter how certain we try and make our future, there is NO SUCH THING as security. It’s an illusion. We can have all of the best securities in place and still have the future veer wildly from what we thought it would be. As wildly as the difference between “Uncle Brian” and “Eggy”. Not in a MILLION tries could someone have predicted that’s what my nickname would be! And I LOVE IT! It’s such a delightful and perfect nickname for me–just think what joys I might have missed out on had the world gone as I predicted it would!
So think about this: choosing to KNOW there is no certain future, no matter what controls you try and put on it, absolutely SETS YOU FREE to make your own path! And it starts…RIGHT…NOW! And it starts again…RIGHT…NOW!
And this means that ANYWHERE in your life where you are not supremely happy, anywhere that is not just exactly the way you want it, is available for you to alter it, RIGHT NOW. Take a moment and think about your life. As Mary would say it, FEEL your life. What areas would you like to change? Why haven’t you changed them? Fear? I know many people who don’t because they are afraid that, even though what they have now is only adequate, or even less-than-adequate, they are afraid to change because they believe the outcome could be worse. But I’ve discovered something. The fear of doing something is ALWAYS worse than the actual doing. So what if you change something in your life and find it “worse” than before? With each time you step out of your comfort zone and change, you will find less and less fear of the NEXT change. And you will understand that if you ended up with a “worse” situation, you are free to change again–right now! And again! Until it’s just EXACTLY the way you want it to be!
Don’t reach the end of your life and look back and wonder if you’ve REALLY lived! Abandon certainty! Hell is knowing, each day, exactly what will happen tomorrow! Think about that. How exciting is a movie when someone else explains what’s about to happen before it does? LIVE! RISK! Challenge the guardians of mediocrity in your life with a mad dash of fearlessness and faith!
My writing teachers have always said (something I usually agree with): “don’t quote someone who is better than you.” I must. If your life, your love doesn’t explode with joy and adventure like this, consider taking that mad dash:
“The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars as daylight doth a lamp! Her eyes in heaven would, through the airy region, stream so that birds would sing and think it not night! See how she leans her cheek upon her hand. O that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might touch that cheek!”
–Romeo from Romeo and Juliet, William Shakespeare
And that, my SWEET LOVE Mary, is how I see you!