I was thinking about a friend of ours who got divorced last year. Three children and their lives upside down.
Every Love relationship starts with good intentions. The couple that went through divorce never expected this to happen on the day they married. Life takes you on a challenging adventure with unpredicted paths to walk. Partners can’t say for sure i Love you and I will Always Stay with you…not because they do not mean it, I am sure they do mean what they say. But Life can give you Insights after events. You can get another view on your man or wife. People change all the time…
When I look back on my life I am a totally different person now than I was when I was 18. All the events, how tough or sad they were, have lead me to who I am today. In the end everything is a benefit for me. Because of all the difficult situations, decisions, sadness, despair and lots of emotions I was able to survive. Not as a victim but as a person who wants to know the WHY of things. Why did this happen to me? This was the question I asked myself over and over again. Not like OMG…. Why does this happen to me, am I such a bad person that I need to be punished? NO! The reason for asking this was that I wanted to get the deeper reason; the Insight why this happened to me and what I could learn from it.
I started to see problems as opportunities. To grow…to be another person who could be in the process we call Life with an open heart, soul and mind. To be able to say I’m sorry when I had done something which was not that great. To talk with my partner for instance. To stop Judging myself for what went wrong. To stop judging my partner for being who he was. To develop myself into a balanced person, more balanced each time during Life. To put Energy and Faith into the relationship. Always with the good intention to get the Love relationship going ‘again’….
When Brian and I first met, he told me that there is not such a thing like working hard to get a Love relationship to work. I agree. A good Love relationship does not take hours of talking, struggling, demanding and giving in, manipulating, battling, ignoring, being ironic, humiliating or Living Apart Together in one house….But of course this is our belief.
Both Brian and I believe the Love relationship we have with each other is the best ever! Why?
Because I am me and Brian is himself too. We TALK about EVERYTHING without holding back. We don’t wear masks, we do not pretend to be better than we are, we respect and accept each other because we truly Love one another. Love has many faces, we all know that.
Back to the divorce. I never understood how people can promise to forever stay with the person they marry. Are they fortune tellers? You never know if this will be true or not. You Hope so and you most likely will do Everything to make your marriage a successful one. But it is a fact that a lot of marriages end up in divorce.
Brian is my Lover and my best friend, I know (he told me this over and over again) he will always feel the want to be here for me as I want to be here for him. But I can NEVER be SURE for 100% that we will live happily ever after. And I believe that is a good thing too. It keeps us sharp, it ‘feeds’ the want to Love each other unconditionally. To work, Live and Laugh Together and to enjoy the Sharing….Brian is to me what I always wanted and knew was possible. O yes, I could have given up Hope that something like our Love would be possible and settle for Less…but I chose not to do that. Man! Am I Happy I followed that tiny little voice inside of me instead of letting go of it or Think it away! Be realistic! That was the advice I got. Well I believe I am a very Intuitive AND Realistic person.
To all of the readers of our blog I would like to say this:
Not even when your parents, friends or so called ‘specialists’ tell you this is not a very realistic want. It only tells something about them; they gave up Hope to find the Love of their Life…
They believe it is Impossible to find that one person who truly fits you on all levels. They all settled for Less…
On days you feel sad and think back of the good things in your lost Love relationship, we all tend to Only look at these moments and start to long for that again. Great! Keep on doing that! Cherish All of the Good Moments….and take them with you in your soul to confirm you want to be with a person who has all of these beautiful qualities and more. Do not return to an ex partner because of the so called good old days…within a month (or less….)you will know exactly why you divorced him/ her.
Stay friends with your ex partner when both people feel the want to do so. It makes things so much easier than fighting each other. Children Love both parents in general. They can do it, so why would we not be able to do so too? The Love relationship is only changed into a friend state.
Many problems can be solves when we allow ourselves NOT to Listen to what The Others think about it, say about it or advise us. Stick to what YOU Feel is right. Listen to YOUR Inner Voice and Feel this is what is Right for YOU…
When Emotions are too strong to handle, whenever you feel the need to throw out the burden of that negative negative energy, throw it all out in the gym by working up that body! Or start walking, laugh more. Be with Friends, Talk! Decide to be the nicest person and the most Loving person to yourself. Make friends with yourself in the first place. Stop judging yourself for things that happened. You got the Insights which will Help you now….Feel Grateful and blessed by what Life presents you, no matter what it is. Feel your emotions, then decide what you want with them.
And understand that some people walk beside you and then walk their own path again. Some will accompany you for a while and then disappear. And some will walk with you for Life. It’s all Good. Life is an adventure, it can be a challenge even at certain times. But Everything that happens is there for a reason…Nothing weird about that at all. With two feet in the Here and Now, you can Decide to Listen more and more to your Inner Voice. The Voice that will tell you what is Right for you, what can bring you the Balance you are looking for and what can lead to more Inner Happiness…..
Are you willing to look for your Insights?