Some days you can feel overwhelmed, meaning you simply have too many thoughts and too much on your “ To Do List”…
When you start judging yourself about what you could have done and still did not do, you can even begin to feel depressed. Questions like:
‘ Why am I not doing ANY – THING of this all?’
‘The more I look at what I am SUPPOSED to do, the less I do’
‘My room looks like my head feels right now; a mess!’
‘I want to get out of here!’
Some of us go and lie down on their bed staring outside. Some of us lie down on the couch and watch television. Some of us just go to sleep. And there are some of us who feel the want to start drinking it away or use drugs to be out of their own space or start eating away their frustrations and self judgments.Why is this happening?
In my opinion this all has to do with the way we look at things. We want to be a Pleaser for The Others but also for ourselves. So we make our “To Do List”, the so called TDL. We write down all of the things we want to do and after some days or a week we start to feel irritated because we did not do the things we promised ourselves to do. We even start to feel angry, wanting to do things but somehow there is never time to do the things we put down on our TDL. In fact it’s simple, we are trying to keep all the plates up in the air while we only have two hands…
So what happens next?
We start to JUDGE ourselves. First a little bit, but as the days go by we judge ourselves more and more. Until we are not doing ANY – THING of our TDL anymore…which makes us feel depressed or sad. The Pleaser starts to feel unempowered. All of the plans they made become too hard to do and then, in the middle of this process, they feel the want to escape from that feeling that’s called being OVERWHELMED….
The Drinkers will start to think about a drink.
The Drugs addict’s will start to think about drugs.
The Food addict’s will start to think about eating.
So knowing this, how can the Pleaser hold him/herself from Drinking, Doing Drugs or Over Eating?
The answer is almost too simple; too easy to understand but it’s true.
STOP WANTING TO DO ALL OF THE THINGS ON YOUR TO DO LIST!!!
Okay, but then what?
HIGHLIGHT ONLY ONE THING that has the highest priority for that day. Forget about the rest of the list. Just DO that ONE THING and feel HAPPY you did that. Then, whenever you FEEL like doing a second thing, choose one you like to do that day. After that STOP JUDGING YOURSELF when you decide to go for a walk, a run, call a friend or play with the dog. You did one or two things of that list!!! YEAH!!! This will open up the possibillity to choose one or two priorities per day, no more. The funny thing is that you won’t feel overwhelmed anymore. Because YOU CHOOSE HOW YOU FEEL, EACH MOMENT OF THE DAY. You are in charge, no one else.
Looking back at the TDL you will see things you wrote down weeks ago, seem to have solved itself. So start making a new List with things you still want to do and HIGHLIGHT your CHOICE(S) for that day. Stop thinking you could or worse SHOULD have done more. BULLSHIT! Who tells you you need to overdo it? Will that make you a better person? No! It will only cause stress and stress will take care of feeling overwhelmed. Feeling overwhelmed can take you back to drinking, using drugs or overeating yourself.
Did you know there are people who have the TDL PRINTED inside of their HEAD??? Who constantly judge themselves and live unhappy ever after? Do you want to be unhappy for the rest of your life putting down that much stress on your shoulders? Giving that example to your children so they believe stress is normal? Or worse, without stress you are not doing it right? I see many children here in Holland who feel overwhelmed by all of the things they “need” to do. Who escape from that pressure by smoking pot and drinking hugely. Who feel depressed and can’t take it anymore. Too much to do and too little time will do that. Why not teaching our kids to do one or two things of their TDL per day? I am not talking about homework they have planned or you helped them with how to plan that. I am talking about everything else they seem to be busy with. Educating kids is giving them the example how they can have a great life! Which has nothing to do with having lots of money, it has to do with how you see Life, how you attitude is. People in my surrounding always tell me I seem to be so positive no matter what happens in my life. True, I am. Because I CHOOSE to be POSITIVE. It HELPS me to face difficulties in my life. I also could have chosen to be the opposite, in that case I don’t think I would still be writing blogs. I even think I probably would not be around anymore. No matter how hard life can be, I always choose to look at the opportunities. I see problems as challenges to learn. Every problem carries the solution in it. Can it be as easy as that? To me it is as easy as that. Does it mean I don’t feel beaten every now and then? No, but I am like that dog coming out of the water, shaking it’s fur, getting rid of all that water and I know I can choose to go on in a happy way. Every second of my life I can choose again. I don’t judge myself for not being perfect, because there is no perfect. I do not judge myself for not doing the 10 things on my TDL per day because I know it will not give me Happiness. I CHOOSE one or two things per day. And I feel HAPPY.
Will The Others judge you for not doing ALL of your TDL? Maybe they will. But when you look at them, are they doing all of their TDL? No…and you know why? Because everything that is registered on the TDL is simply TOO MUCH to handle in one day. So take a deep breath, start Loving and Liking yourself better and make a choice what you would like to do. Choose one or two things. And feel HAPPY when you are doing these things. I wanna bet your TDL will be empty within a week. Because there are less priorities than things we believe we NEED to do.
How about you?