When a person you deeply Love dies, this has an immense influence on your Life.
Soon it will be a year since my best male friend Erik died. I still remember it exactly. Felt him all the time, his Life energy becomes less and less as I sat down with Brian. Feeling every second of his last minutes, till it stopped…Erik…gone…no more smiles, no more hugs, no more deep conversations, no more unexpected visits, no more laughter, no more memories.
The moment I heard he was diagnosed with aggressive cancer I knew the date he would pass away. Like something you remember, only this had not happened yet at that time. I called him the day before he died, his voice was weak, he was drugged because of the pain and he listened to my words of comfort and Love. Answered me. Erik who never believed in the Light, the Here After. Who laughed it all away telling me dead is just dead and that’s it, was telling me about the Light he had seen. He knew where he was going back to. It all changed.
Erik is still with us, I can sense him, feel him, hear him. And not only me.
To my youngest daughter Erik has been of great importance. He was like a real father to her and he is missed deeply. But the most beautiful thing in this all is Love. Real Love that this continues being there. Because Love is Energy.
All of who Erik was is sealed as a treasure in my Soul archive. His wise words, his laughs, his beautiful eyes with so much expression in it. We had a Connection on Soul level and we both knew it. I always called him or went by to keep him informed about my Life, our Life as a family. He always went by or called me to know how I was doing. The last time I saw Erik alive was just before I left for America last year. He unexpectedly came by at my office with his grandson Jay. Our Love for each other was one of a kind. Though we never actually dated, we still had this special thing going on. We were each others Friend and we could have been Together, we both knew that. But because of certain circumstances that never happened.
Thinking back of Erik, I feel such an enormous Gratitude. And despite his loss I still Connect easily to him. As Erik does to us all.
The many tears I cried after his death were not only of sadness, but also because I feel blessed by knowing him. Which is in the present time for me.
Erik Loved his family above all. And right next to that he Loved fishing, he was a man from the sea, the freedom he felt being a sailor for many years, the Love for fish in general. The huge aquarium in his living room he built himself with these gorgeous beautiful colored exotic fish in it…So it was very obvious his family decided to give his ashes back to the sea. And they did. His son played a beautiful song on his guitar and his daughter and mother, brother and sister and other family members, including my youngest daughter were there to guide Erik on his last reunion with the sea.
How we respond to loss is personal, for it is indeed a personal loss. We all handle it in our own ways.
From here in this blog I want to share this with you all. Take every day as if it is the last day you can be Together with your Loved Ones. Cherish each other. Communicate. Never go to sleep with issues. Never let a Loved One leave when he or she is angry or the other way around. Feel Blessed.
Love. Negotiate when you want something. Speak freely about your Wants. Feel Safe with each other. Create Happiness every possible moment. Live in the Now. Feel Present. Enjoy Life with your Loved Ones. And feel Grateful.
My personal wish for you all is that you will experience a Friend, a Partner, a Lover, or the Love of a dog, a cat or another animal to Celebrate your Life with. Know you are here for a reason. Never doubt that. You have chosen yourself to be here, right here. Find your true wants and Live from that. Be the one you truly want to be. Create opportunities, think in opportunities, never in impossibillities. Don’t judge yourself but Celebrate the wonderful YOU. And Bless the world with your Presence…