Very often I heard people say they had everything in their life so they ‘should’ feel Happy but felt a gap that made them feel Unhappy…So all of the beautiful houses, all of their cars, all of their expensive purses, their handmade Italian suits, the vacations, the second or fourth houses they owned could not bring them Happiness. Married but still not Happy. Divorced and still not Happy. How come? What is Missing?
During all of the years I worked in my office as a Psychological Therapist I have heard all of these stories. They all had one thing in Common and that was the way these people Looked at their life.
Let me explain this to you.
You can choose for the belief that a person in your house does things on purpose. Like dropping the socks in front of the laundry basket instead of in that basket. You can have discussions about it and your child or guy will not change it. You can even translate that as being not Interested enough, not Caring enough, not Hearing you enough. You can make the decision to make an issue out of it. Even feel frustrated. Creating an Unhappy feeling within you. Or….You can choose to look at your child or guy with a Loving smile, knowing and understanding this child and this guy have no bad meanings doing that. They just are distracted or do not think about it because it is not important enough for them. Does this mean they deny you? No. Not at all. The belief that the socks NEED to be IN the laundry basket and it is such little effort to do that otherwise they don’t care and therefor do not really Love you, is something that was created by most probably your parents or people around you. Every woman wants their dude and their child to do what they ask in order to feel Cared for and Loved. But ‘Life is too short to match socks’ would a friend of ours say, and North you are so right! So why make an issue out of that just because they think differently?
Now read carefully here, I do not say this is what can make you Happy. It is YOU who chooses what to do with it. But I am sure that when this same child or same guy would be suffering from a disease and the days with that child or with that guy would be counted, you would not make a biggie out of that pair of socks on the floor anymore. So why would you do that now? Things that create Happiness….what would that be for YOU? What is the most Important thing for you in Life? Think about that….
Let GO of that critic little voice inside of your head that tells you you are not worthy enough. That you do not a matter. Let go of all these negative thoughts for they do not Create Happiness but Unhappiness. And remember Happiness is a Choice! (www.option.org) Barry Neil Kaufman wrote a book with this title….very well written!
Both Brian and I took classes at the Option Institute. Just have a look at this video in which Brian tells you about his Creating Happiness!
I remember Joanne, a woman at the Option Institute. She told me that I was more than two legs….(after I told her I felt ashamed for years because of my cellulite on my legs.) And guess what? She was so right! From that day on I decided not to think of myself ever again in that negative way. I still have cellulite, but I changed the way I looked at Me….
By Changing the way we look from a negative Belief we are able to Create way more Happiness and we will live our Life with so much more Awareness and Gratitude.
In a conversation I had this last night with Brian he told me this:
[1-12-2012 23:09:51] Brian Ellis: “I Love you and I want the BEST for you, I will always support you with Love, but if you want my opinion, know that I will tell you my truth…if you are not prepared for that, don’t ask…”
and my answer to that was:
[1-12-2012 23:10:57] mary van der valk: I will always want to hear your opinion, as long as you tell me gently
[1-12-2012 23:11:14] Brian Ellis: authenticity from a place of Love!
And that is what it is all about. To be the authentic YOU. To be authentic and feel Love, feel Loved, feel Gentle when talking to each other. To know what your True Beliefs are, to investigate your ‘own’ Beliefs, like are they really yours? Or are they just taken in by you? Are they taught by The Others when you were a child? What really fits you and what Beliefs are taken in without even realizing that you did that. Ask yourself questions like:”Do I really believe this Belief works for me? Do I choose to keep this Belief? Does it feel good for me? ”
Being the True You is taking a journey that will be different to us all. But once we start to be more Aware and start to look differently at ourselves and start to ask our own questions, we can Change and trade our Negative thoughts for Positive ones. And Create Happiness!
How about you?