Rejection is an emotion that is connected with attachment. We can feel attached to persons, animals, things or circumstances.
And I felt tears watching it. So much to recognize and so much to lose, so much to win. Bad timing, hard words spoken at the “wrong” time, all of it building up to an imploding violence of the Soul.
Rejection holds it’s own Power. A very up building or a very destroying Power, but Power it is. What is Rejection? To me rejection was like a cold hand trying to tear out all of my Joy and sucking out all of my self esteem.
I know Rejection. I have tried to defeat it as my enemy. Until the point of no return. Till here and no further. There is always another person who Rejects you. You might believe, just like I did, this other person is so important to you that without his or her Love, Embrace, Confirming words, you are Nothing. This guy or this girl can break you or build you up. You feel like you can’t live without that. But the truth is you can. As long as you know WHO YOU ARE and as long as YOU LOVE YOU.
I have been in Love relationships with men who tried to be more than me by humiliating me, beating me up, raping me, telling me I was less than shit and taking away my friends, isolating me, punishing me with taking my privileges from me, burning me down in public, laughing at me for they did not believe in me. I felt broken, I felt down, but I always came back into the real me. My real Self is indestructible. My real Self is unbroken. My real Self knows who I am. This is why I am still alive.
One of my former partners told me the day before I left the marriage and his house that he had won. That he always wanted to win and would never stop fighting me until he did. He smiled his smile looking down at me and I looked him straight in the eye and said: There are no winners in this. It is not about winning. I know it isn’t, you don’t and I feel sorry for you that you still believe this is the way to handle a relationship. You did not win. Neither did I. For it is not about Winning, it is about how to Love one another. I know that’s where a relationship is about. You don’t. I don’t hate you. I just feel sorry for you that you are not able to Love.
Watching The Wrestler, I could understand and feel the head characters. They all followed their own process in their Life. The woman who came to see him was too late, she could not stand up for her Love for him at the “right” timing. She could have saved him but she got stuck in her own emotions and did not tell him she Loved him and she wanted him to be safe. She just said “I am here, I am really here…” The crowd shouted the Wrestler’s name. He tried to be a father for his daughter but screwed up by showing up too late, again. The daughter could not cope with the pain she suffered emotionally and rejected him as her father. Told him she never wanted to see him or talk to him ever again. The Power of Rejection versus the Power of Love.
The woman in this movie did Love the Wrestler but felt captured in her own life. The daughter was doing Fear of Rejection and took the power by rejecting her father who really needed her in his life like she needed him in her life. They all hungered for Love. None of them got that in the end. Rejection was the key here. Beautifully acted by Mickey Rourke. The disillusioned wrestler who chose to die rather than losing Love again. He had nothing left was his Belief. When he would have made a different Choice like stepping out of the wrestling business after his speech (which was great by the way) he could have had it all. Rejection has an amazing destructive Power. One you can never underestimate.
Some people feel rejected as a child and are not able to let go of that feeling and it’s Power ever again.
Some of us do not feel heard. Some of us do not feel Seen. Some of us do not feel Confirmed.
Some of us do not feel Loved.
What would happen when you would do this:
LET GO OF THE PAST.
By CHOOSING to be in the Here and Now. By knowing and realizing you are never your Past. You are your own “present”… By listening to your Inner child that still may feel heart. By giving the child the attention that lacked. By taking your Inner child by the hand and by telling this child can feel Safe again because YOU are there to HELP him or her. Together you’re Strong!
Tell him/ her it will be just fine and nothing can happen for YOU are there to take care of the child from this point on. YOU are so much wiser now and YOU can DECIDE it’s just fine. YOU and only you are the director of your own Life and your own emotions.
It is not important if one of The Others rejects us by telling us we are not good enough, we are not Lovable, we are not Intelligent enough, we are Disappointing them, we are too Big or too Small, we are too Pretty or too Ugly or whatever they tell us we are or do. That has NOTHING to do with who YOU are. It only reflects their Beliefs. Not imortant. What IS important is YOU.
For YOU know who you are and you are not dependent from their opinion. For you and ONLY YOU can decide what to do with it. Never buy a Belief that is not your’s. It is just something they make up. So just shrug your shoulders. It is not important at all. I know I had to learn that. It was a tough and hard road to walk. Yet, at this moment in Life I feel like one with my Inner Child. I do not feel rejected anymore for I decide what my value is. Not The Others. I do not decide to give or hand over that Power to them for it only belongs to ME.
On this moment in my Life I feel Loved. First of all by ME. I accept myself and I Love my Self.
I feel Loved by my Loved Ones. My children Elise, Tobias and Fay. My husband Brian who Loves me deeply and his family. My mother, my brother. My friends.
No person will get any guarantee in Life. So what! Just live your Life with Choices YOU make, never live Life by the Choices The Others make for you. Never agree with a Choice when YOU feel a NO instead of a Yes. Be Authentic. Be You. Love YOU. It’s as simple as that. No hard work. Just a clear Choice.